Ouch! My piles!

Get On!!

2011-09-25T08:50:00.001+01:00

http://www.geton.co.uk/files/mcia/the-cost-of-commuting-car-vs-bike-get-on.png

Bikes are not just for fun!!

Sent from my iPhone

The Fateful Day

2011-09-07T20:31:00.009+01:00

This Blog has been a long time in the writing. There are a few reasons for this as will probably become apparent!
Wednesday 6th April and I'm feeling a bit out of sorts, have turned down four shifts of overtime and am generally pissed off with life. Go to the doctors and decide to try and stop smoking! The doctor prescribes Champix tablets for the Smoking and arranges for me to go for a bloodtest the next week.
Thursday 7th April get pestered by work again to work overtime, tell them I cant be arsed. I really must be ill! Spend the afternoon in the company of my big sister drinking coffee and catching up.
Friday 8th April go for leisurely breakfast and try not to think about cigarettes, knowing that when Mayhem gets home in the early afternoon we are going out onthe bikes. I go down to his house early and decide to wash the bike as the previous weekend run around Keilder has left her in a sorry state. Lazy wash though, down to the local jetwash with a bottle of Muc-off and some alloy wheel cleaner. Job done and bike looking much better I jump on and head back to Mayhems house. No sign of his work van so I decide to go on ahead and have him meet up with me at Keswick (20 miles away) . I head off to Cockermouth and decide I might as well take the scenic route Around the back side of Bassenthwaite Lake. Quick stop for a ciggie in Cockermouth and then offI go. A stretch of road I know very well, road surfaces fairly good considering the harsh winter, Warm and sunny and dry on a motorcycle with good music in my ears. What more can a man ask for?
Riding along the B5291 towards Castle Inn Hotel without a care in the world enjoying everything that my senses can detect ,I bank into the last corner on this road. Brain screams "CAR" and then thinks "this is gonna hurt". A severe blow followed by a sensation of flying and then I am lieing on my side with a smell of antifreeze and hot oil in my nostrils. Brain is now saying "ohmygodyouwererightthishurtssomuch". A good Samaritan who had some first aid training and a lot of common sense Kept me talking and still until the Ambulance, police and firecrew turned up and more importantly, stopped anyone from touching me or trying to take my helmet off. The emergency services cut all my clothes off, which at the time I cared not one bit about! I got to fly in the Great North Air Ambulance too. The car was driven by a young chinese student, It was a hire car. She must have forgotten which side of the road to be on because she was trying out my side.
I sustained quite a few injuries and even though we are five months down the road, my right arm is still very stiff and painful. However My Darling Blackbird is dead, deceased pushing up daisies etc etc.
Cue my incredible older brother , William. He Insists on providing me with a replacement steed! A lovely 1985 Honda VF1000FII Bol d'Or.

I went to his house a couple of weeks ago and rode it to Mayhems garage where it now resides. My first ride on abike in five months and it was Fooking Brilliant! I cannot thank William and Mayhem enough for their support through this time, they are the salt of the earth! I have since been out for a bimble through the wonderful lake district a couple of times and I can say that I am BACK ! Slower than a nun on a C90, but I'm back!
Unfortunately my doctor discovered some reasons why I had been feeling out of sorts. I had been suffering from Hypothyroidism, Low hormone levels and osteoporosis all of which are now being treated. The one big positive to come out of all this is that the ciggie I smoked in Cockermouth at 3.05pm 8th April 2011 was the last one i have ever had! I now look forward to riding what is left of this season and getting back to somewhere near the mediocre skill level I once possessed! Come on guys , lets get out there!
Pooley Bridge.

What actually prompted me to get down to writing this missive tonight was a letter I received from the Cumbria Constabulary this morning. It was from the Traffic Management Officer and basically said that the young lady who very nearly killed me would not be charged or prosecuted as it was very likely she would not stay in the country long enough to prosecute or be Retrained.
Nice to know that British justice is so considerate. Wonder if that would have been the case if they could have proved I was speeding? Not that I'm bitter or anything!
The VF is an Ideal bike for me to get back to biking on. It is a really comfortable riding position and the engine has bags of torque and the engine braking is excellent. I have ridden almost 300 miles on her now and am getting used to her little foibles. All in all I am just so happy to be back on two wheels and getting on with life!

Sidecar?!

2011-08-21T17:52:00.001+01:00

Ahh Its orange!

2011-08-19T21:01:00.007+01:00

So first a quote from me, " I love motorcycles and I'm gonna be 100% dedicated to sharing it with anyone who cares to read this blog"... yea sorry couple of things got in the way cue the arrival of Dexter...
Dexter Blaine Hooton

Born 14th June (4 weeks early) weighing 4lb 12oz

This little fella came as such a surprise; when the Wife was rushed into hospital for an emergency section. I'm going to use him as the reason for not updating my outings ;) which I must add I have had even though I have mountains more responsibilities! (Nod to Jane-Anne) All is well now with Dexter and after just a couple of weeks in special care (still has ginger hair) he is home safe with Mam, Dad and big bro Wilson who insists on calling him the "Ginger Ninja".

I have a few trips to portray as follows: Croft BSB, A very VERY wet trip up to Hartside Cafe and in the words of Mr Bungle a "blap" out with the Pathfinder on his Repsol Fireblade! I'm going to let Bosnia Blog the first... speak soon

Kielder Water at Last

2011-06-18T18:36:00.003+01:00

Mayhem at Tower Knowe Visitor Centre.

Sunday 3rd April. At work on a morning shift and feeling like I'm deprived of fresh air. Talked my shift leader into letting me finish at 12 instead of 2. Yipee!!!! Home and changed into leathers, the weather looks great and Mayhem is free to come out and play. I owe him a good ride out for all the times I've been out without him! After putting our heads together we decide to head up to Carlisle and take it From there. Thirty four miles later we pull into Carlisle McDonalds with grins as wide as our helmets. That quick blast has got us in the mood for some serious riding so after a coffee, a couple of ciggies and a tank of unleaded its off to the A7 and I decide to give Mayhem a bit of a change of scenery. We turn off the A7 at Cannonbie and get on the B6357 to Newcastleton.
All the while the sun is shining down on us and the road surface isn't too bad either. After blowing out the cobwebs on the trip to Carlisle we are both ready for a good thrash and we "make progress" along this winding and challenging road. After Newcastleton the road forks and it is the right fork that we take heading for the A6088. Mayhem has never been on this section of the road before but I can tell he is enjoying it by the way he is chucking the Bird about and never dropping more than 30 meters behind! A right turn at the junction with the A6088 and a blat along to Carter Bar on the A68 where we have a disappointment as there is no burger van in the lay-bye! Oh well , there is a first time for everything. Kielder Water
After a quick ciggie I decide to head along the A68 as this section of the road is fantastic; Sweeping bends, tight bends and large elevation changes make it worth the trip! Left turning on to the A696 brings us along to Otterburn where we manage to find a latte and a great Bacon sarnie in the towns main convenience store. Ciggies, coffee and food dipatched I decide to try and get round the backside of Kielder Water where I have never been before. Taking the B6320 which crosses the A68 we wend our merry way along some tremendous roads. At last, on my third attempt, I am finally getting to go around Kielder Water! It is worth the wait, being a thoroughly entertaining road with great scenery and surface. The Tower Knowe Visitor center Beckons and we stop for yet another coffee, ciggies and crack with other bikers who have stopped here. I seems very popular with the biking fraternity and it is right beside the Osprey Ferry terminal. There are well cared for public toilets here as well.
As we sit and smoke and shoot the shit, a bit of a breeze springs up. It is still sunny and bright as we saddle up and carry on along this lovely road but looking at the sky reveals a massive black cloud and we are heading right for it! Before I know it ,it is lashing down. I start to feel the rain stinging my fingers through my gloves and realise that the shiny road surface isnt actually shiny but WHITE. Its only hoying down hailstones the size of ball bearings! A car in front of me suddenly decides he needs to slow to crawling pace so I pull over to pass , open the throttle oh so slightly and find myself riding a very heavy speedway bike! That's enough of that, I think and carry on very gingerly until the hailstones give way to normal rain. Mayhem has fallen a bit behind so I pull over thinking that as he has a heavy tinted visor on he may be having visibility issues. Sure enough , he pulls in next to me and changes his visor sharpish.
Two minutes later we are back in brilliant sunshine and dry roads. Talk about four seasons in one day! Normal service resumed we head back towards the B6357 and find ourselves back at Newcastleton having completed the loop around Kielder. Will definitely be doing that trip again,hopefully sans hailstones. Newcastleton to Cannonbie is completed at a good pace and once back on the A7 it is time to think about tanking up. A quick stop in Longtown for fuel lightens my pocket by £26, This hobby is getting bloody expensive! Nearly £50 on fuel. Never mind ,it was totally worth it. Mayhem has really enjoyed it too and we are happy to add this run to our list of Sunday afternoon runs. Longtown back to Workington and put the bike away dirty, I can wash it later inthe week when I'm on my days off. A great time was had by all....

INTRODUCTIONS 12

2011-06-08T09:33:00.012+01:00

Bosnia

Age: 26

Years riding: almost 2

Bike: Honda CBR 600f

Mods: erm.. trickle charger?

Previous bike: None.

fascinating fact: Bosnia actually plays on PS3's Gran Tourismo 5 in his crash helmet... and it is also rumored that counter steering just doesn't work for Bosnia...

First Trip of the Year

2011-06-07T22:26:00.004+01:00

First of all I would like to say that I am delighted that the blog appears to be widely read and feel a bit remiss about not blogging from the end of last year. So I am about to remedy that. Anyone reading this is encouraged to have a comment and give us guys some encouragment!
The end of February saw me get myself motivated to get the Blackbird ready for the coming season and decided to do a full service , change the front wheel bearings, change the brake fluid and fit new pads. A scotoiler was also added, had been meaning to do that for 2 years! My mate Mayhem decided to take the plunge and buy a set of stainless downpipes for his 'Bird. We managed that with only one snapped stud which had to be drilled and tapped. A visit to the testing station produced an immaculate M.O.T. Certificate and a quick online application supplied 12 months tax.
Over christmas I worked plenty of overtime and decided to treat myself to some new gear as well. Online I found a set of leather pants that matched my Targa jacket and a nice pair of TCX Waterproof boots to replace my comfortable but shabby Oxtars. A pair of winter gloves in blue completed the purchases. Thats it then ,all ready!
I decided to get away for a few days and some old schoolmates organised a mini reunion in my old hometown of Castle Douglas(Scotland) Via Facebook for the 18th of March. Things were looking good for a trip around the Scottish Borders and on Wednesday the 16th I packed up and started my trip with a gentle trip of 80 miles or so from Workington to Dalbeattie to work out the kinks and arrived at my parents house fresh and invigorated . I spent a lovelly evening and night with Mum and Dad and then the next morning I got up early and set off to enjoy the A711 back to Dumfries and turned onto the A709 for Lockerbie. I found a nice little B road, the 7068, that took me over to Langholm on the good old A7. Coffee ,bacon butty and fags at the Whitsheil Cafe and then on to Hawick. I was in no rush as I had all day to meander around the countryside having booked a room in the Famous Star hotel in Moffat for that night. Pulling into the fuel station at the Morrisons Supermarket there I pulled of my helmet and took out my earphones and promptly lost a rubber earbud. After filling up, I went into the store thinking that I would buy a cheap set of headphones for the rubber buds. Wrong! The only in ear type were Dalmation spotted JVC's that cost nearly £20! Still , I do love my music . I tried them in and found them excellent so left them in!
I may have said before but I love the A7. It is fairly fast and flowing and as the weather was dry and bright ,if cold, I enjoyed it to the full all the way to the Edinburgh ring road. I was enjoying myself so much I got onto the A701 and blasted along to Penicuik where i decided to stop for a coffee and fags. I then carried on down the 701/703 to Peebles and on down to Moffat and my hotel. I had a lovely meal and spent the evening in the bar with the locals watching football (Rangers went out of the Europa league) and drinking rum and coke.
Surprisingly, I was up early the next morning in bright sunshine . During the night there had been a heavy frost and the bike was covered. I moved it into the sunshine and went for a leasurely breakfast which was beautiful and then settled my bill. I was slightly dubious about the roads so I decided to wash the bike off and fuel up in Moffat to give the sun time to work its magic. I then set off on what was to be a fantastic day of riding. Down the A701 to Dumfries, along the A75 to Castle Douglas and onto the fantastic A713 to Ayr.Dry roads, sunshine, good music and the fantastic Blackbird had me grinning from ear to ear. A nice lunch in the Morrisons at Ayr then I was ready for a road I had never been on before, the amazing A77. I set off not knowing what to expect and had a total blast down this wonderfull twisting, undulating , scenic coastal road. Stranraer appeared all too soon and it was on to the A75 to take me along to Newton Stewart where I stopped for fuel, coffee and fags. From there to Castle Douglas on the A75 is fairly uninspiring so the A712 to New Galloway and then the A713 back to Castle Douglas seemed a better option. Clatteringshaws Resevoir from the A712 It has to be said that the rough winter and frequent use by logging wagons had left these lovely scenic and interesting roads a little worse for wear with lots of gravel and potholes in inconvenient places. That dropped the pace a little but it was still a hoot. After booking into the Imperial Hotel and showering I had a great meal and then it was time for the reunion. I will not go into detail except to say it went on late and the barstaff were ready to drop when everyone eventually left!
Up at 7.30 after a 3am finsh and lots to drink sounds like a recipe for disaster but I was fine. Delicious full Scottish breakfast, bike packed and ready I had a wander down the main street to see how much it had changed in the last 26 years. Not much! Once the time became reasonable I popped in to visit my neice who lives close by and then went over to Dalbeattie to my Mum and Dads again. My brother came over from Dumfries and we had a ride out together and went to his house for dinner. After spending some time looking at his Project VF1000R I had to head for home as I had a backshift to do the next day. On getting back to Mayhem's to garage the 'Bird he came out to berate me for leaving him at home again! Have to make it up to him and take him out on some new(ISH) roads........................
Four good days spent in my favourite persuit and all too soon, back to work.

Watch this space!

2011-06-07T17:05:00.003+01:00

After much consideration I've decided to carry on blogging on behalf of the Ouchmypiles guys. Everyone at the minute is up to different 'activities' and some still looking for there next bike. I am pleased that Scotch broth started to blog, and blog he did! You have posted some bloody great trips and your write ups are inspiring/awesome please feel free to keep documenting your trips, I'd love to see what your getting up to! Also i stumbled across a CaroleNash website which had a article about motorcycle blogging in which they searched the Internet and listed the top 20 blogs in which ouchmypiles featured 5th! so enough of the reasons, i love motorcycles and I'm gonna be 100% dedicated to sharing it with anyone who cares to read this blog! lets start with a new introduction...

Motivation?

2010-10-31T00:43:00.004+01:00

Just thought I'd share these with you, they kind of motivate me anyway!!

Last Ride Out Of 2010?

2010-10-29T21:19:00.005+01:00

Got out of bed Thursday morning and looked out the window. No rain, no wind and fairly clear skies. Time to get the bike out and have a good ride out! It had been a while since I had been to Edinburgh on the good old A7 so I decided on this as a start for my route. I packed a few things in the tank bag and shoved my "best biking roads" A5 atlas in the map pocket, Checked tyre pressures and lubed the chain. With i-Pod fired up and suited and booted I set out on the first leg which was up to Carlisle and without stopping I got on the glorious A7. I enjoyed the ride on only marginally damp roads to Langholm where a stop for coffee and ciggies was in order. I stopped at the Whitsheil Cafe on the top side of the town where I ordered a mug of coffee and a bacon butty. I was amazed when I was asked for £2.90!Bargain! Bacon roll and coffee devoured and ciggies smoked I set off once more on dry roads and wound the wick up a bit. The ride was fantastic on to Hawick where it was time to fill up with fuel . Tanking up and having another ciggie took only a few minutes and I studied the map and added a little extra loop to my route. Leaving Hawick in lovely sunshine on the A698 I reached the A68 and turned north to Newton St.Boswell where there is a cracking road back across to Selkirk(A699).This was a good idea and well worth the extra miles.
Upon reaching Selkirk the route was pretty much back to original. The A707 is a lovely road with a good surface and nice scenery and I was enjoying it to the full as I motored along with some great tunes on the i-pod and the pipes on the bike playing a superb symphony. The next waypoint was Caddonfoot where the B710 takes you back onto the A7 above Galasheils and I carried on all the way up to the Edinburgh ring road. All my memories of this great road were dredged up and reinforced and I even considered just going back down it!
Instead I found a fuel station on the ring road that also sold a really nice Latte.The bike was nowhere near empty but after my near miss last time out it seemed a good idea to fill up whenever I'm not sure where the next fuel station is. As I indulged in coffee and cigarettes the beautiful weather started to take a turn. The sun disappeared and the sky turned grey. I didn't care, I was enjoying myself and had plenty of time to spare so the A701 beckoned me. The 701 didn't start too brilliantly as it is a bit straight with a few roundabouts but after that it turned into an open flowing road with a few dodgy areas of surfacing.Staying on this until Leadburn where the A703 was my choice to take me down to Peebles. This road wends its way over and through some stunning moorland scenery. It was still dry and I was riding it to the best of my ability(limited as that may be) and enjoying every mile and bend.Such a simple soul really!
Peebles appeared sooner than I expected and it was the A72 to take me back over to the A701. The A 72 is a pretty good road and very enjoyable. The weather was deteriorating steadily with mist coming down as I hit the 701 and a light drizzle soon followed. There is a famous landmark on this stretch of road called The Devil's Beeftub and I wanted to get a picture before the weather made it impossible so I bashed on and got to the viewpoint and took the photos. This is an impressive sight and I enjoyed the scene and a cigarette before motoring on to Moffat. The rain started coming down in earnest and the wind was picking up so I found a nice little cafe in the town called Rumbly Tums and indulged in ,Yes you've guessed it, a bowl of lovely hot soup! That,a double shot latte and a scone with clotted cream and jam put the stuffing back in me. I also had to visit the local public toilets which cost 20p but was really impressive being warm ,spotlessly clean and fragrant! I wish all public conveniences were this nice.
The run from Moffat to Dumfries is great in the dry but it was chucking it down by this stage and the visibility was bad with lots of spray and mist. This combined with lots of artic wagons made it entertaining to say the least!By this point I was wishing I had put on the cordura jacket instead of my leathers. Once I reached the A75 the conditions got even worse but I was determined to bash on to Carlisle where the wet and cold had got to me and I stopped for a coffee and fuel. As I was drinking my coffee and smoking my spirits revived and I saddled up and headed home.
As usual the bike performed flawlessly and the run was a roaring success with loads of different conditions and scenery. I was a bit wet when I got home but that did not matter after a nice cuppa at Mayhem's house and a hot shower. If you are ever in that area give the route a try, 300 miles with fuel available in most decent sized towns , cafes and pubs aplenty and of course , Great biking roads.
I also joined a website called http://www.bestbikingroads.com/index.php
If you are ever after a route for europe or Britain give it a try,they even have an app for i-Phone. You can join and add routes or coment on existing ones.
Well, that may have been the last ride of this year. If it was then it was worthy, if not then I hope the next one is half as good! Mayhem is working away at the moment and was not available so I was on my own again. God I must seem to be a right Billy No Mates! Hope it gets better next year.

Devil's Beeftub

Newcastle by accident!

2010-10-15T22:56:00.010+01:00

After reading Bungles' last post I got a bit down myself to be honest. I can fully understand where he is coming from. Trying to arrange things for a group of people is exceptionally difficult. Everyone has different ideas and commitments , work and family as well as financial constraints. I have tried to arrange meets with just three people and found it was next to impossible!
I thought about it for a while and I can honestly say that I think he has done the right thing.I hope you come back to biking soon Mr.Bungle but only when it's right for you.
One of the big problems I face when it comes to getting out on my bike is that I am at work 3 out of every four weekends. I get days off in the week and ten days off evey five weeks but Mayhem (Martin) works Mon. to Fri. I also have friends from work who ride but are on different shifts to me and so getting out in a group is VERY difficult to sort. As a consequence of this I have found myself going out more and more on my own. When I get days off I see if my missus is working and if she is I take off.
Last Sunday was a really nice day and I was on morning shift. Instead of finishing at 2pm I wangled an early finish and got away for 12. Mayhem was available and we took off on the bikes at 12.30. We had a blast down through the Lakes and went over Kirkstone pass and up Hartside(it was foooking chilly up there and blowing like hell). We then went back down Hartside to Penrith and back over Kirkstone into a lowering sun which was interesting to say the least! Windermere back to Workington was accomplished as the sun set and we put the bikes to rest in near darkness.Just 177 miles covered but it was fantastic. My but the nights are cutting in!
Today (Friday) I got up early(day off,missus at work) and thought that the weather looked just about good enough for a run off. I got out the winter cordura jacket though. The temperature has definitely dropped to Autumnal freshness around here. Where to go? I had all day so I got togged up and i-Podded and Pointed the 'Bird towards Carlisle. Had an absolute blast on the A66 to Cockermouth and then the A595 to"The Border City". Getting through Carlisle can be a pain at the best of times but there was an accident which caused massive tailbacks.I filtered with care and got out to the McDonalds where I stopped for breakfast and ciggie.While smoking and finishing my coffee I thought about my last attempt to get round Kielder Water which was foiled by a road being closed. I decided to try again.
Getting onto the A7 I trundled along to Canonbie and turned onto the B6357. This was one of the best ideas I've had in ages. What an awsome road.Decent road surface for the most part and plenty of twisty bits as well as changes in elevation. The scenery is majestic too. Think I've just found another road to add to my "must do as often as possible" list! I cracked on along this road and eventually came to a junction where I turned right. I imediately recognised the new road and realised I was on the A6088 which is part of a run Mayhem and I have done many times. It takes you out onto the A68 at Carter Bar which is the border of England and Scotland. The 6088 is a cracking road as is the A68. I was getting low on fuel and knew that there was a petrol station about 5 miles along the 68 . I pulled in at Carter Bar for coffee and obligatory ciggie.
Carter Bar A68

From here I thought I would get onto the Kielder road which is just after the Petrol station at Byrness but this was not to be. The fuel station had gone bust and I was on fumes! I carried on along the 68 but knew from experience that there were no fuel stops before Hexham which was way further than I would manage. I had never been on the A696 before but figured there would be a fuel station somewhere so I turned onto it and kept going. After passing through Otterburn(no petrol) I saw a sign that said "Border Riever Shop and Petrol 8 miles". Huge sigh of relief! I carried on and got to the station at Kirkwhelpington where I filled the bike to the gunwhales with fuel and then did a double take at the price. £1.29.4 a liter! Cost me £27 to fill up. No wonder it was called the "Border Riever", Dick Turpin would have been proud of the guy that owns this spot! The cashier explained that it was the only fuel between Jedburgh and Ponteland and therefore he could charge what he wanted. Got to say that if I'd noticed before I had filled up I would have only put a tenner in and filled up in Ponteland!
Anyway, tank brimming and ready to boogie I got back on the road and carried on the 696 to Ponteland. Nice road with lots of lovely sweeping fast bends and I really enjoyed the ride. I started to get the feeling that I kind of recognised the road and then I saw a hotel called The Highlander. Suddenly it dawned on me that I had been in that hotel for my brothers' Wedding reception. Next thing I know I am on familiar roads into Newcastle. I didn't hang around and got myself out on the A69 and as soon as I figured a route ,got onto the A695 for Hexham from where ,via theB6035, I could get onto the brilliant A686 for Alston. This scenic and challenging road also incorperates Hartside where I stopped for another coffee and fags.

Hartside and Cafe.

I like Hartside but it is tricky and also bloody cold no matter what time of year you are there. I took my time down to Penrith and thought about just blasting along the A66 to Workington. Still plenty of daylight left so I decide to go over the Kirkstone Pass to Windermere , Again. I love that road and it is so much more interesting than the A66! Windermere along to Ambleside and Keswick was tricky too because the road surface is poor and it was very busy. The road was slightly damp although it was not raining until I got to Keswick. It was a quick blast to Workington after that as it was getting very wet and a bit dark. All in all a very satisfying ride even though I was on my own. Around 260miles of some of the best roads you can get. Thats why I do it.
I swear I will get round Kielder Water one day!

The Times They Are A Changing

2010-10-11T18:57:00.002+01:00

Oh Dear!

Well..........Hello peeps.....I know, I know it's been ages since I last posted. A few explanations are in order me thinks............Starting with..........

http://www.pistonheads.com/sales/2093216.htm

I have been dreading posting that little link, but there you go.

I have been getting more and more frustrated with biking life over the past 18 months. I have tried and tried to keep things fresh and involve the guys in this blog and in runs and weekend trips. But the problem is that apart from those very weekends away not a lot gets done. I started this blog to encourage the guys to become more proactive and to come up with ideas for further adventures and such like.

I think it all started to go wrong when K.G (Remember him?) chucked in the towel due to a biking injury and he was soon followed by H-Boss who had to sell his bike to try and bail out his failing business. Now, I'm not knocking these guys for doing that, of course, after all there are far more important things in life than biking, and I am assured that both will be back with a bang next year.

It was K.G who organised the trips and the days out and would not take no for an answer, whereas I just don't have the balls to shout at people and make people feel guilty like K.G used to (He truly is great at that).

As far as the rest of the guys go, I think I am closest to Zippy, in terms of riding and in terms of family life (we took our tests together and supported each other every step of the way) but Zippy rarely reads this blog, unless he is told about a particular article.

Fruit'n'Barley is pretty much the same and is a very infrequent visitor. Papa Phallus, on the other hand, has been a star. He supports everything we try and do and regularly comments and posts on the blog. Also outside of the blog he is very generous in loaning me garage space for my(?) Blackbird.

I am not trying to knock people or apportion blame for my current state of mind, I was sort of hoping that our Scotland trip would re-ignite fires in us but in all honesty since then I have been on one short blast to Whitby and back, and poor Zippy has not been out at all.

One of the real positives to come out of Scotland was meeting Scotch Broth, I have said it before but he really taught us all a lot and I know my riding is better for it. He is really keen to post on this blog and does so very well, and I hope he continues to do so, and but for a huge amount of lethargy on our part we would (and should) have joined him on his recent trips over to our side of the country. Sorry dude.

Now, before I took up motorcycling I used to do a fair bit of mountain biking and I must be frank and say that nothing, and I mean nothing, comes close to the exhilaration of flying down a sketchy trail on a mountain bike. I stopped mountain biking about 5 years ago, mainly because the job I do was at that time stupidly time consuming and I got very little time off, so the expensive mountain bike had to go. fast forward 2 years and work had calmed down but I didn't think I had it in me to go back to mountain biking so I chose a different path and took up motorcycling. But, fast forward again another 3 years and my youngest son (nippage) buys himself a mountain bike and I promise him that I would buy another bike and show him the ropes. Well, what can I say. It all came back to me within a couple of rides and it was fantastic. I was out riding with both of my sons (we have been out over a dozen times now) getting a little fitter and healthier each ride and just enjoying time spent with my two lads.

So, if the Blackbird sells, (I have had a bit of interest) I think I will be taking a year out of biking and coming back fresh and fired up next year with the rest of the guys. I think Zippy is thinking along the same lines and, in fact, he is already sans bike.

I will continue to post on the blog and keep you informed on what is going on and when I have my new GSXR750 (whoops, let the cat out of the bag there) I will let you all know.....

Sorry for the miserable post

Bungle

NorthYorkshire Again!

2010-09-23T18:32:00.004+01:00

After 8 solid weeks of work I have finally got some time off! Of course the first thing I did was waste two days recuperating and sleeping. So Wednesday dawned grey and not very promising but the weather forecast assured me that the best weather in the country would be North Yorkshire. Dithering and wondering if I should trust the forecast cost me about an hour and then I thought "bugger the weather , I need to get out and enjoy myself". I chucked some clean clothes into my tankbag, checked the i-pod was charged and got out my new "Skull-candy" earphones. Yorkshire here we come!
Predictably as I got the bike out and checked oil,tyre pressures and lubed chain it started to rain. I ignored the rain and pretended it was sunny and warm.Didn't even bother with the waterproofs and just saddled up and pushed on. I took a pretty indirect route down to Kendal by going down the A595 and turning of at Silecroft and going round to Coniston and then Ambleside and then Kendal. I was really looking forward to the A684 and I was not disappointed as the road was bone dry and the sun was shining. I really got a wriggle on and was in Sedburgh in no time only to find that the road to Hawes was closed. A diversion up the A683 to Kirby Stephen and back down the B6259 to Garsdale Head got me back on track. I did not realise that I had missed the famous Buttertubs Pass by a few miles. I cracked on along the A684 through Hawes and Wensleydale to Leyburn where my stomach reminded me that I was not part of a Honda and that it required sustenance. A lovely cup of coffee and a Masham Pork sausage butty refuelled me and I was off again towards Northallerton where I decided to go to Thirsk where I desperately had to refuel. That is the first time ever I've got 175 miles on one tank. The A170 and Sutton Bank were next and after negotiating that I decided to get onto the B1257 for Malton.
Malton to Pickering and on to the Hole of Horcum where I stopped for a photo or two and then a visit to Goathland. The scenery was stunning and the village is immaculate and there are even a couple of Ford Anglia police cars and a steam train! From Goathland I stayed on the minor roads to join the A171 for Whitby and after a quick visit there I got back on the 171 and continued down the coast to Scarborough where I had a coffee,fag and photo stop. I also had a chat with a chap on a Rizla liveried GSXR1000 who had a sticker on his bike that said he had been on the Timmelsjoch Pass between Italy and Austria. We had a reminisce about that as I have been over it too(2840m and snow flurries in August). He also told me where the Buttertubs Pass was and I new I wouldn't get to do that on this run. It was now about 6.30 pm and the clouds had come down and it was looking decidedly murky. Having put some clothes and a pair of trainers in the tankbag "just in case" I thought about looking for a B&B and staying over. I headed back along the A170 and down Sutton bank to Thirsk where it started to rain in earnest and I thought the B&B was a winning idea. I pulled in at a pub but they were full and so was the next, the Vale of York, but the manager phoned around and found me a room at the Poplars which was only 50yds down the road. Quick shower and shave(I always carry toiletries in my tankbag) and back to the Vale of York for tea and a few libations to cure the aches and pains. I was absolutely bushed and after my tea and drinks I headed back to the Poplars for a well earned kip. (Quick aside here; My mrs was not too chuffed with me, she was on a nightshift!)
Thursday dawned bright and sunny. No it bloody didn't! It was bloody pissing down and misty. After a quick fag (and nicoteen rush) I was provided with a sumptuous breakfast of finest Yorkshire produce and then I had to brave the Elements and don my waterproof jacket. Yes, its still too tight but the magic still works! As I motored along the A61 the sun broke through and I quickly re-evaluated my options and after reaching Ripon the Buttertubs Pass beckoned. Up the A6108 to Leyburn(quick stop for fuel, antacid tablets,water and fags) and then along to Hawes where I found the turnoff and ,with some trepidation, headed ove the pass. The Blackbird is probably not the best tool for this sort of road but it was still fun even with standing water and dubious road surface. I thoroughly recommend it , preferably in the dry.
By this time I was trying to think of ways to prolong my ride out and delay the homeward trail. From Thwaite along to Nateby and back down the B6259 to Garsdale Head and then back to Hawes for a trip down theB6255 and past the incredible Ribblehead Viaduct. Forgot to stop for a photo, Doh! This road took me onto the A65 to Kirby Lonsdale and Devil's Bridge where I stopped for a cup of tea and a chat with a chap on a BMW1150RT. Nice bloke and enjoyed the chat.
I put off going home by getting on the A583 back up to Sedburgh and then the A684 back to Kendal where it started raining but I kept going and soon ran out into sunshine again.The run to Windermere was uneventful and Ambleside came into view. Time for a pee stop and a decision on my route home. Ambleside to Workington via Keswick 38miles , Ambleside to Workington via Coniston, Broughton-in-Furness, Holmrook and Whitehaven 68miles. Coniston it is then!
On the way home just after Whitehaven it started to rain like it was trying to re-enact the Flood of Noah and I got thoroughly soaked in the last 8 miles of my nearly 600 mile journey! Still ,I will not complain and it was bloody brilliant. I am so glad I took the chance to get away , all that would have made it better would have been some company.

Whitby and Yorkshire moors

2010-08-25T22:14:00.005+01:00

What a fantastic day i have just had! Myself and Mayhem decided to make a day of it and set off this morning at 9.30 to get over to the East coast and enjoy the Yorkshire Moors. We set off from Workington and got to Keswick in short order. We got onto the A591 and enjoyed the ride down to Kendal and then onto the A684. What an absolute treat this road is,twisty and challenging. I had never been this way before and was blown away by the road and the scenery .I will definitely be doing this road again although I hope the stretches of Tar-and-chipping resurfacing will have a bit less loose gravel next time!
We stopped at Leyburn for a smoke and a drink and then carried on to Northallerton,Brompton and A19. A quick blast up to the A172 and Stokesly where we turned onto the B1257. Although this is classed as a B road it is a two carriageway road and is really good. It does have the obligatory "number of Motorcyclist casualty" signs as do most of the roads in this area. This does cause me to wonder why there aren't signs saying how many four wheeled accidents there have been as well. Surely someone must realise that roads like this attracts bikers so there are likely to be more accidents, probably not helped by the number of car drivers that don't know what mirrors are for!
I decided to follow the B1257 all the way down to Malton and then turn onto the A169 and go up to Pickering and over the Goathland Moor. What an incredible experience it was with the sun shining on the heather and a very enjoyable road. I hope to do this route again very soon.
Arriving in Whitby we quickly found the famous Whistlestop Cafe. I was looking forward to some Whitby Scampi and chips but it turned out we were too late and I settled for a bit of Quiche and the biggest slice of chocolate cake I have ever seen. Mayhem went over the road to a chippy and got fish and chips(smartarse). After refreshments and ciggies it was time to head for home and as I was in charge of navigation I got on the A171 and then over to Darlington. I then got onto the A68 and followed this until I could get onto the A689 for Alston and over Hartside to Penrith.This stretch of road from the cafe down to Melmerby was as demanding as ever with its tight hairpins,blind corners and the usual traffic.You just have to relax and take it steady. A quick blast along the A66 saw us arrive home at 8pm having completed over 360 bloody great miles,two tanks of fuel and some fantastic Yorkshire scenery. I still have a stupid big grin as I write this!
Mayhem had enjoyed himself as much as I did and we both hope to do it again in the company of Mr.Bungle,Zippy and crew. Hope to see you soon guys!

Going Home

2010-07-22T21:44:00.002+01:00

The Scotland Trip has been very excellently documented by Mr. Bungle and there is not much that I can add except to say that I did not do much waiting for anybody . It was great fun on and off the bikes. When we reached Dumbarton I had to split from the guys as I was heading to Dumfries to visit my brother. We headed over the Erskine Bridge and I got on the M8 to head for the coast and get onto the A76 to Dumfries. The sky was black and it appeared that I would be able to skirt the storm , or I would if I hadn't took the wrong turn that was taking me right into it! All of a sudden the visibility was down to 20 Meters and the motorway was inches deep in water. The cars were making bigger bowwaves than the ferry had! I looked for the next exit and managed to get turned in the right direction but the delay meant that instead of skirting the edge of the storm I would be in and out of the front all the way to Dumfries. Hey Ho, thats the way it goes sometimes. I dont mind riding in the rain but the wind was really bad at times and that can be scary.
I had meant to get onto the A737 but had turned onto the Westbound side of the M8 and after I had got onto the Eastbound carriageway I had to ride in that freakish wind and rain back to where I wanted to be. On the A737 down to Irvine I could get the speed back up a bit and even enjoyed the road. It is pretty damn good in the dry. Some of the idiot car drivers were driving along in the spray off the vehicles in front with no lights on . Apart from the spray it really was pretty dark. Irvine to Kilmarnock was fairly dry but as it is dual cabbageway there was no shelter from the bloody wind and as Mr.Bungle said when you are leaning over to go in a straight line it kinda puts a dent in your fun!
From Kilmarnock to Dumfries was great as always as it is fairly sheltered and once again I was out of the rain. I really got the hammer down and enjoyed this fantastic road. I got to my brothers house where he showed me his new Arai and his wifes new Flip front helmet with built in sun visor. The Box was really smart but the Arai was just really special. (Green with envy) He then showed me the route he has planned for his two week motorbike holiday in the alps and Lake Maggiorre in Italy. (Positively bloody Green with envy) . After spending some time with him and his wife I headed back to Workington. On getting to the outskirts of Carlisle the wind was not trying to push me sideways, instead it was trying to lift my helmet off and I can say that last 35 mileswas the most uncomfortable ride I've ever had!
It was still the best fun you can have with your clothes on and I would travel anywhere with this bunch! Can't wait to get over to the North East to see what the roads are like over that way.

Scotland Trip Day 4

2010-07-21T13:21:00.005+01:00

"Gusty Gusty Windflap"

And so, after three superb days of riding some of the best roads our little island possesses. It was time to head home. Five weary but happy travellers facing all that the weather Gods could throw at them.

It had been pretty much persisting down all night and the morning seemed no better as we headed up the singletrack road out of the village. The little babbling brook that followed the line of the road was by now a raging torrent of copper coloured, foam topped water that was being fed by water streaming down the sides of the mountains. It was awe inspiring to witness. It was like Mother Nature had decided to put on a display of power and majesty to make sure we would never forget our little foray into this truly beautiful part of the world.

None of us had breakfast that morning so we agreed we would call in to a suitable café in Arrochar for a bacon butty and a warming mug of coffee. We found a suitable place just on the outskirts of Arrochar, it was a converted church. The bacon butties were excellent, and gave us a bit of respite from the driving rain.

We got ourselves suited and booted once again, but this time in glorious sunshine. Zippy approached his bike ready for the off, turned the ignition on and the bikes alarm/immobiliser kicks in. Zippy tried to disarm the alarm, but nothing would turn the bloody thing off. The poor lad. What with all the MOT trouble he‘d suffered, he didn’t need this. He made a quick call to enquire about using the breakdown cover on his insurance, it was good to use but would take an hour two to reach us.

We decided to have a look and see if we could sort the problem ourselves. Myself and Scotch Broth both come from a mechanical background, so we had a little usable knowledge on tap.

We stripped off the nose cone and screen to get at the alarm which was mounted just underneath the clocks. Scotch Broth pulled out the alarm multiplug, bridged a couple of terminals, and hey presto, the bike started. Zippy was a happy chappy. And Mr. Broth, you’re a genius…

Back on the bikes we headed of along the A82 past Loch Lomond and onto a fuel stop at Dumbarton. After fuelling up Scotch Broth told us that he would be heading back down the A76 to Dumfries to visit family, where as we were going to blast along the M8 and down the M74 and get home in time for Sunday dinner. So we said our farewell’s and parted company just after the Erskine Bridge crossing.

The wind was really starting to pick up by now and felt almost gale force in strength. It was going to be no fun at all traversing the moors on the M74.

In actual fact the wind on the M74 was bad, but nowhere near as bad as it got around Carlisle and the open sections of the M6. For quite long stretches we found ourselves in the inside lane doing 55-60 mph just to avoid being blown across two lanes. After 30 minutes of buttock clenching we reached the relative sanctuary of the A66, the wind was now at our backs so we could relax a little and make up for lost time.

Before long we were home, the bikes were filthy, we were knackered but very happy.

It was a fantastically successful trip. On a personal note, I have learned loads over the four days and I can’t thank Scotch Broth enough for joining us and putting up with our limited abilities and basically being an all round good egg. You’re a top man Mr. Broth.

And so another year, another OMP road trip. So where to next year guys??????????

Bungle

Scotland Trip Day 3

2010-07-20T21:06:00.007+01:00

"I Neeeeeeed Alcohol"

Day 3 started with another visit to the shop in the middle of the holiday complex. Myself, F’n’B (naturally) and Zippy elected to walk rather than ride this time, for 2 reasons, to get a bit of fresh air and also to give Scotch Broth time to finish his colossal breakfast banquet.
Inside the shop we, once again, noticed the shop assistant giving F’n’B the eye. I nudged him and tried to get him to go across for a chat but I think the poor lad was a little shy and resisted all attempts.

we picked up our Crunchy nut Cornflakes (tut!) and milk and headed to the counter. Zippy was stood perusing the chocolate bars and shouted across “Anybody want owt?”. To which F’n’B replied “Yeah, I’ll have a Lion Bar”. Once again we all fell about laughing, in front of a very confused shop assistant.

Today’s ride was going to be a short blast to Stirling. Basically to try and find a bike dealer. F’n’B’s visor had turned opaque the previous day and now Papa Phallus’ had gone the same way. We still have no idea what caused the problem, it looked like both visors had been cleaned with a petrol soaked rag, but of course this wasn’t the case. It would have to be a case of, grin and bear it until we found replacements in a suitable bike dealers.

We had no idea if Stirling had any bike dealers, but being a fairly major city, it was reasonable to assume that at least one dealer would be found. Checking beforehand on Google was out of the question because mobile phone signals were none existent in Lochgoilhead.

The clouds overhead looked a touch angry as we set off along the Lochgoilhead to Rest and be Thankful singletrack road. This could be the day we all get a good soaking.

Next it was along the A83 to Arrochar and then Tarbet and onto the A82 which hugs the coast of Loch Lomond. This is a very twisty stretch of road and would be superb but for hundreds of tourist cars and caravans and quite a few sections of road works. Not that I’m complaining about the tourists mind, that is what we were after all and who am I to deny people access to this beautiful area.

We passed through Inverarnan and continued on to Crianlarich in search of a fuel stop, none found, we continued a little further north to Tyndrum where we found fuel and a great little café with dedicated motorcycle parking. Their were about 2 dozen bikes parked up, all manner of types on show from Fireblades through Fazers to a group of three 500cc Scooters (Ahem, Mr. Broth).

The coffee’s we ordered and the smattering of bikes on display gave us a much needed distraction from the heavy rain shower now passing through the area, we timed that one perfectly.

So, back on to our main objective. Re-tracing our steps soon found us back at Crianlarich and from here we picked up the A85 to Callander and Stirling. The journey to Callander (now on the A84) was pretty uneventful with both F’n’B and Papa Phallus taking it steady due to poor visibility, one or two heavy downpours didn’t help matters, but we soon found ourselves in heavier traffic on the outskirts of Stirling.

One small point to note, we once again bumped into the three 500cc scoots (ahem!). Made good headway they did….

In Stirling we parked up at McDonalds for a healthy, nutritious lunch. Well, apart from Scotch Broth of course who was still full from breakfast. We now had a full mobile signal and could search around for a dealer. One found, we set off in search. It had closed down a while back, we were informed. The nearest one was now in Falkirk, Oh hum!

A short blast and we were parked outside of Jim Allan Motorcycles. A quick chat with the very helpful staff, two visors fitted and we were on our way back, re-tracing our steps back to Lochgoilhead.

The journey back was superb, the roads had dried out completely and were now virtually empty so good progress was made.

The A85 back to Crianlarich was fantastic, not particularly challenging but stretches of the road were nice and wide with good long straights. Perfect for getting a bit of wind in you’re sails. Papa Phallus and Scotch Broth were like men possessed and soon disappeared out of sight, only to wait a few miles up the road for the rest of us lagging behind.

Before we knew it we were back at our digs and getting ready for a night on the er….village.

It was Papa Phallus’ birthday so we were determined to get a bit drunk and celebrate in style. Rumours of us throwing him in the Loch were totally unfounded although the thought did cross our minds.

We sampled a bit of local fair in the shape of Haggis lasagne, doesn’t sound right but is actually superb. A good few beers, a few single malts and rums and everyone was starting to relax and basically look totally knackered but a good time was had by all. It was time to call it a night, so we gathered outside the pub where Scotch Broth was doing his utmost to add to his fine array of midge bites (he is an avid collector) when we were approached by the local wrecking crew (actually 2 girls and a guy) they said they had been to a party at the local village hall but were now on the lookout for alcohol. “I neeeeeeeed Alcochol” shouted one of the girls. Poor Nippage looked a little nervous in the face of this outburst as he was the only one carrying any booze, namely a half drunk bottle of Bud. But in all honesty they seemed nice kids and soon went on their way to find a suitable supplier.

Which left us to retreat to our apartment for a lovely game of Buckaroo and Operation, and you will be pleased to find out we managed to complete both games quite easily with a fine array of extra furnishings, stories about which we will leave for another day

Bungle

Riding in the Rain?

2010-07-17T18:20:00.003+01:00

Don't you just love the British weather? It never fails to amaze me with its ability to give us Four Seasons In One Day! It can make the choice of riding wear quite difficult and there is nothing worse than setting out for a days riding with your leathers on only to discover that "you really should have worn the Waterproofs". The other way round can be slightly disappointing too!
Last Sunday was a case in point. I planned to set off reasonably early for a ride out to Devil's Bridge (Kirby Lonsdale) and perhaps beyond depending on time and weather. On the morning of the ride my friend,Martin, phoned me and asked "Leathers or Cordura?" On looking out the window at the glowering sky and windswept trees I decided that discretion was definitely the better part of valour and that, as I prefer to be warm and dry, "Cordura for me" was the correct answer. Dressed in my "poof's jacket" (as waterproofs are referred to by Martin) I got down to Martin's , got the bike out and lubed the chain.Scotoiler is definitely on my wish list! By the time this was acheived I was sweating like a pig and Martin was not much better. Looking up at the sky made me chuckle to myself and think about being nice and dry when the rain started, as it surely would. We set off down to Devil's Bridge and had a great ride as far as Broughton-in-Furness where we stopped for a coffee and a ciggie. As we sat there enjoying both, an acquaintance of mine turned up with some of his mates all in racing leathers . "They're bloody keen" I thought. After a short chat we set off again and I kept saying to myself that I was really glad I was going to be dry when it started pissing down.
Arriving at the Bridge I was Mildly surprised at the turnout especially as the weather looked so dodgy. We spent a while looking at the bikes and smoking and then decided we would go up to Windermere and over Kirkstone Pass to Penrith. Martin thought of this route and I agreed thinking, as I sweated , that at least we would be warm and dry when the rain came. I credit you readers with the ability to see a pattern forming here! From Penrith, back over the pass to Windermere and along to Ambleside where we turned off and followed the road to Coniston and then back to the A595 and Then home. All day, 220 odd Miles and a large grin on my face. If only I hadn't been sweating my bollocks off wearing waterproof clothing when we never even saw a drop of rain!
Tomorrow we have planned a trip out around Kielder Water and south Scotland.I am going to wear my leathers so you can garantee what the weather will be like.

Scotland Trip Day 2

2010-07-10T16:22:00.003+01:00

"Dibs"

Day 2 started with a trip to the local shop to pick up something for breakfast. Myself and F’n’B volunteered for this vital mission and I persuaded Papa Phallus to lend me his bike, as the Blackbird’s noisy exhaust would surely upset the residents.

We shuffled around the shop searching for breakfast. “I can’t be arsed to cook, so we’ll get cereal” said I. “Yeah, Crunchy Nut Corn Flakes, everyone likes them” replied F’n’B.

Now I know what you’re thinking, why the bloody hell are you including this in your right-up Bungle? Well……When we were wandering around said shop, I noticed out of the corner of

my eye that the pretty shop assistant was giving F’n’B the eye. Outside the shop I told F’n’B about this, he told me he hadn’t noticed, so I suggested that if we got back from our ride-out early enough he should pop round the shop and try his best chat-up lines on her.

Cornflakes devoured, dishes washed, and we started to get ready for day 2 while I popped round to Scotch Broth’s hotel to check if he had managed to get breakfast. He was sat in the restaurant part of the Hotel looking content with hands on tummy, having just wolfed a 47 course monster breakfast. Typical. I prefer Cornflakes anyway…Honest..

We headed off on the cool but slightly unnerving single-track road that leads out of Lochgoilhead. The road is pretty fast and flowing at first but soon becomes much more twisty and undulating which leads to caution because you are never sure what’s awaiting you around the next bend, or over the next brow.

It was then onto the A83 to Inveraray, This is a beautifully surfaced, smooth, grippy road that hugs the shore of Loch Fyne. It was heavenly. We crossed over the single lane hump-back bridge which leads into Inveraray and found a place to park on the shoreline of this picture postcard town, replete with whitewashed buildings, single malt shops and stunning scenery.

Jaw’s picked up, we continued on the A83, this time with me leading the way. Confidence in my own abilities increased due to the superb fast roads and almost perfect conditions. It’s a shame the drivers passing me in the opposite direction couldn’t see the big daft grin on my face.

A fuel stop was now the primary goal, and it wasn’t long before we found a station on the outskirts of Lochgilphead. Zippy found himself a new comrade in the service station. Another VFR owner collared him for a chat. He was a friendly, mature chap with an odd liking for Scotch pies and cheesy puffs (don’t ask), and we chatted with him for a good 15 minutes before we bid him farewell and headed off onto the A816 to Oban.

Now this road was the best of the day (perhaps even the best of the trip). It was still blessed with oodles of grip but was far more twisty than the A83. I listened to some good advice from Scotch Broth at the petrol stop, who told me to ride the road in a low gear and use engine braking to help keep cornering smooth and confidence high.

The advice was spot on, even Nippage, on the back, was loving it. It was fantastic but, alas, it was over all too soon. Oban was in view by now and we had to find somewhere to park up and grab some lunch.

“Ooh! No, not for me thanks” said Scotch Broth “I’m still stuffed from breakfast”. Smug git. So the remaining 5 corn-fed guys trudged across to the chippy to grab a bite to eat.

One substantial, Seagull harassed, bag of chips later and we were all full and happy, but what was this, Zippy was getting chatted up again, this time a sweet old local lady was asking if she could have a go of Zippy's bike, she said she had a shopping cart, so was used to VFR speed.

After much ribbing we were ready for the off again. But where to……

One of the “must do’s” for our trip was to ride up to Fort William and through Glencoe pass. “Let’s do that then” We all agreed.

The A828 which runs from Oban up to Fort William along the shore of Loch Linnhe, is a great road but was spoiled by our first major rain shower of the trip, forcing us to take cover in a petrol station. Once the shower had passed we continued our journey although we noticed traffic was now much heavier and littered with caravans and motor homes.

We didn’t see a great deal of Fort William. McDonalds really should think long and hard about putting their restaurants in more idyllic locations, then we could look at the view from their car park with coffee in hand. But no they chose to stick this one on a trading estate, useless gits.

Also in McDonalds car park was a group of “Adventure tourers” all resplendent with matching GS1200’s carrying all the accessories, aluminium luggage, sat nav, internet wives. Now I am not going to rubbish these guys without good reason, maybe they do ride through Russia on a weekly basis. But we all (to a man) gave them a cheery nod and hello only to be completely ignored while they connected their intercoms in their matching BMW suits. Snobby cocks.

It’s a good 20 years since I last went through Glencoe Pass but it’s effect on me was still fresh as a daisy. The place is incredible. I could sit here all day waxing lyrical about it but you really have to see it to appreciate it.

We then planned a stop at Rannoch Moor were the Lone Piper plays his bagpipes in idyllic surroundings for the benefit of coach loads of tourists. Papa Phallus tried to put on his own show for the amassed tourists. Not sure what happened exactly, but as we were following we saw a mass of blue smoke, brake lights and the smell of burning rubber as PP was executing a nifty overtake on a line of caravans and motor homes. No doubt he will pop up with a little post to explain what happened.

The side winds we experienced coming down off Rannoch Moor were nothing short of bloody scary, Poor Nippage was grabbing on with his arse cheeks as well as his hands. Rannoch Moor gave way to Crianlarich on the A82 and then along the bonny bonny banks of Loch Lomond, for 10 miles of frustrating roadworks and snail like tourists.

Tired but very very happy, we arrived back at our digs.

A quick shower, glad rags, then out to the pub. But wait, we had forgotten about F’n’B’s pretty shop assistant, “too late now” said F’n’B “She’ll have gone home by now“. And this was to be the topic of discussion for the night. Until, that is, F’n’B clapped eyes on our waitress. “Forget the shop assistant, I’ve got dibs on her” He said. A few rounds later and we had persuaded F’n’B to have a go at talking to the shop assistant when we went back in the morning for more Cornflakes (Hmmmph). “Yeah” said F’n’B “I’m gonna buy her a present, I’m gonna buy her a Lion Bar”. At which we all fell about laughing. Don’t know why, alcohol I guess…

Bungle

Scotland Trip Day 1

2010-07-09T10:25:00.010+01:00

Marc! Your Bedroom's On Fire!!!!!!

And so to the annual OMP tour.

This time Scotland was our chosen destination.

Initially we had the idea of sticking to central and eastern Scotland, based around Inverness. But things soon changed after Zippy and myself were decamped to Campbelltown in Argyll for a work project. The roads and scenery around the area were nothing short of stunning. This was it, this was to be our new base.

After a brief search on the internet, and a very scary late night conversation with a psycho hotel owner, we opted for an apartment in Lochgoilhead (booked through the lovely people at Argyll Holidays).

Now for the personnel. A few of the regulars couldn't make it this year but we still had a healthy list of willing participants. Myself, Zippy, Papa Phallus and Fruit'n'Barley should be familiar to

regular readers, but we also had a couple of newbies. First off, my son, "Nippage" (snigger) was to be pillion on my bike for his first OMP trip. and also Scotch Broth, who's intro can be found just prior to this post.

Scotch Broth and I had been chatting on the "Bikegreatescape" website for a few months leading up to our trip, and he had expressed an interested in joining us for the duration of our little escapade. We were more than happy to have Scotch Broth on board, especially as he knows the roads in the area really well, I was just a little nervous that we would all make arses of ourselves with our limited skills and spectacularly unpredictable bikes.

Which leads us nicely to our departure day. Papa Phallus wheeled his trusty steed out of the garage only to be greeted by the dreaded flat tyre, a quick look around the tyre soon found the offending nail. Nothing else for it, a new tyre it was to be.

Zippy was also getting a new hoop fitted that morning so he now had 2 wheels

in the back of his car and a bulging back pocket (£240) to pay for the tyres and get our tour back on track.

Finally under way, we decided to stick to decent A-roads and avoid (as much as possible) motorways and dual carriageways. A68 first, up to Hexham then the A69 to Carlisle to meet up up with Scotch Broth.

It was on the A69 that we had our first little drama. Zippy and F'n'B disappeared from our mirrors so we pulled in to wait for them, F'n'B's number plate holder had come loose and was flapping about in the wind, a few zip ties soon had it sorted and Zippy was so relieved he decided to have a brief lie down with his bike. His voluminous soft panniers saved his blushes and we were soon on our way again.

We met up with Scotch Broth in the services at the top of the M6. A few handshakes and introductions later and we were on our way again. Scotch Broth's idea was to head for Dumfries then across to Ayr on the A76 before heading up the coast to Gourock where we would catch a ferry to Dunoon. Sounded great to us and the roads around Dumfries and Ayr were superb, despite being a little wet. Before we knew it, we were parked up at the ferry terminal for our short but enjoyable ferry crossing to Dunoon. One of the Dunoon residents on the ferry warned us about unmarked Police bikes patrolling Argyll which was very considerate of him.

Dunoon to Lochgoilhead was despatched in a flash on lovely flowing, very grippy, roads which really gave us a feel of what we could expect for the rest of our trip.

One thing we had all noticed on the journey up was the willingness of Scottish drivers to move across to the inside and give us more room, although this isn't is really necessary, I suppose at least it shows that they are using their mirrors and had seen us approaching, very commendable.

We picked up our Apartment key from the super posh Drimsynie House Estate and checked out our accommodation. It was first come first served as far as sleeping arrangements

were concerned, but I had the key and therefore the advantage. I was first through the door and noticed the sign to remove shoes before entering, "right, I will block the door to the bedrooms while taking my boots off" was my thinking but Papa Phallus had other ideas. As I was bent down un-buckling my boots, PP flicked his boots off then dived over my back and sprinted straight into the room with the huge Queen size bed. Bollocks. Never mind, my little single bed looked nice and comfy. It just goes to show that "Old and Wise" was, on this occasion no substitute for "Young and Fit".

We met up a little later with Scotch Broth, who had booked himself into the Hotel just along the road, for a few drinks and a bite to eat (or some nice warming soup in Scotch Broth's case) and to recap the days events.

Day 2 was gonna be a cracker......

"beautiful Lochgoihead"

Bungle

INTRODUCTIONS 11

2010-07-08T20:14:00.006+01:00

SCOTCH BROTH

Bike - Honda CBR 1100 XX Super Blackbird (99)

Mods - Delkevic cans, Baglux, Soup Flask, Hugger, Croutons

Previous Bike - Honda CBR 1000F

Age - 43

Years Riding - 8

Fascinating Facts - Hippopotamus Soup is known to have been eaten as early as 6000bc.. In the film "The Exorcist" Regan MacNeil vomits Pea Soup while possesed...

Scotland trip

2010-07-07T18:35:00.002+01:00

Hi everyone.

Scotland trip was a massive success and thoroughly enjoyable, keep dropping by for the day to day blogs but in the meantime check this out to whet your appetite

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVrKsqZrm30

bungle

Mistaken Identity

2010-06-12T16:37:00.006+01:00

Poor Zippy, he has no luck at all.

Fresh after myself and Papa Phallus MOT'd our bikes Zippy popped his across to Trackside Motorcycles for his turn to persuade the tester, "It's supposed to be like that, honest mate".

His lovely blue VFR was polished and tweaked and pampered then despatched off to the test station.

Our friendly tester guy wheeled the bike in, wandered around making a few notes and nodding in appreciation. He strolled across to his computer monitor and set about typing in the bikes details, this done he prodded the enter button and all manner of alarms and red flashy lights burst into life.

"Oh dear!" said tester fella "That doesn't look good".

All UK testing stations are computer linked to a master computer at the DVLA (Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency) in Swansea, this computer checks the bike's details and complete history before giving the go ahead to the testing station to test the bike.

"I think it's a ringer, mate" said Mr tester "can't test it"

As shocked as we all were we took encouragement from the fact that the DVLA are all a bunch of numpties and are continually making embarrassing mistakes, especially as Zippy has had the bike for a couple years and no such problems have arisen before. There are checks you can make yourself including a number of online vehicle check companies and even a couple of mobile phone based ones. So it was one of these latter companies that I decided to use to see if I could get to the bottom of this mystery.

I typed in Zippy's bike's Registration number and sent the text, wait a couple of seconds, then - beep beep, beep beep. Text has arrived, Right, time to sort this mess out.....

*Thank you for using our service, your vehicle is as follows- White, 1987, Bedford Rascal van. No outstanding finance, one previous owner, No accident damage.......end*

"What!!!!!!! that can't be right...............Or can it?

Lets look at the facts.

Rascal vs VFR - similar acceleration, similar top speed, similar desirability, both piloted by famous kids TV characters (if anyone remembers Sooty and Sweep driving a rascal back in the 80's, give yourself a pat on the back, and of course our own Zippy).

So as you can see I think this mix is up is a fairly common occurrence for poor VFR owners. Check out the pictures and see if you can tell them apart.

Difficult isn't it.

But seriously, Zippy got in touch with DVLA and they admitted to making a screw-up on his registration document, it has now been amended and the testing station now have Zippy's bike back ready to test.

All's well that ends well.....I hope

Bungle

From Joy to Pain and Back Again! Part3

2010-06-09T17:35:00.006+01:00

Fruit 'n' barley's poor bike was in a sorry state. We had to try and track down a set of fairings and most importantly we had the engine to sort out, would it repair or was a new unit required. After a couple of days of head scratching and chatting to people in the know it was decided that the engine was too badly damaged to try and repair, it would have required welding on the damaged crank case, which potentially would have been a leaky nightmare, but more importantly it was hard to tell if any deep seated damage occurred due to the generator end of the crank sustaining a nasty smack.

It took a little while to track down a suitable donor engine. A call to every breakers yard in the local area proved to be fruitless, but eventually we managed to source a low mile unit in Scotland.

Money paid, engine delivered, time to put our mechanics hats on.

The fit was a little fiddly but fairly enjoyable but the grin on Fruit 'n' Barley's face when the bike fired up was worth all the scraped knuckles and sore knees.

Our search for fairing panels was far more difficult than for the motor, F'n'B's ZX6 is an unusual colour (yellow and purple/black) and consequently anything that turned up on fleabay was quickly snapped up for top dollar.

While searching on fleabay we spotted a couple of Far East traders selling full fairing kits, ready painted, for reasonable money. We carefully scrutinised their feedback,which was all good, and decided that we could take the risk (Paypal has plenty of safeguards in place). F'n'B ordered the Kawasaki Moto GP replica fairings and in the meantime we tried to persuade the poor lad to use his

bike as normal until his shiny placcy bike bits arrived.

He was not overly keen on this idea but a planned weekend blast around the North Yorks moors soon had

him scrabbling for his bike keys.

I think the little run done wonders for his confidence and once again he was a happy boy.

Next time : time to fit those fairings...

Bungle

Update!

2010-06-06T15:04:00.002+01:00

Hey guys.

Finally back in the UK after spending the best part of three weeks working in sunny Holland.

So, what's new in the world of OMP? Well the Scotland trip is now all paid up and me and the guys are pretty excited, just under three weeks to go now;

Papa Phallus and his crazy/cool (delete as applicable) wife, Jane, are in the process of finalising the design for our cool OMP t-shirts which will incorporate an up to date reworking of our "pink bike" logo (and once again it's Zippy's bike which gets the pink makeover).

Following shortly will be the 3rd instalment of the Fruit'n'Barley story, and I will be introducing another new ride-out attendee.

cheers

Bungle

Candid Camera

2010-04-29T15:54:00.003+01:00

Fruit 'n' Barley bought me a gift last month, he bought me a Veho Muvi micro camcorder, it was unexpected but nonetheless very welcome.

The camcorder is absolutely tiny, it's about the same size as your thumb, but the picture quality is a pleasant surprise despite it's miniscule dimensions.

So, what to do with said gift. Let me think, I've got a fast motorcycle, a free weekend, a yearning for over brewed chuck wagon tea and a willing accomplice (Papa Phallus) who also happens to have the same little camcorder (also a gift from Fruit 'n 'Barley, hmm).

Whitby was to be our chosen destination for our 'road movie' debut.

With a bit of jiggery pokery the camera hardware was fitted into the cheek pads of our helmets (I said they were small) a few last minute checks and adjustments and we were on our way.

The run to Whitby is an 'ouch!' favourite, it's fun and fast with great scenery. For us North East lads it's a short (35 miles) blast down the A174 moors road with a short stop at the Scaling Dam chuck wagon followed by a long descent into Whitby itself.

If you have never been to Whitby by bike, then please give it a go, there are 3 or 4 routes into the town and all of them are great rides. The number of bikers who congregate in the Whistlestop Cafe in town depends upon time of the day but there is almost always a healthy smattering of bikes in the car park.

And so to the homeward journey and check out our camera footage.

Papa Phallus popped the kettle on while we connected his camcorder to his Mac. The picture quality from behind a visor was great and the view of the road ahead (including some fat git on a Blackbird) was perfect. We watched our trip to Whitby again from the comfort of an armchair with coffee in hand, nice.

Of course I would like to say the footage was brilliant and that it showed the sublime riding talents of Messrs Bungle and Phallus, but, alas, when it came to the Birk Brow section we showed ourselves to be anything but sublime.

Birk Brow is the steep road that leads up to the moors, it consists of a hairpin at the bottom a long uphill straight and a hairpin at the top. During our ride to Whitby the section was taken with a little gusto, we thought, as we hit the top hairpin, 'wow we are really on the limits of adhesion here' .We thought we were close to knee down territory and had it pinned. Hmmm. During playback we watched the hairpin section eagerly and were gutted to see a wobbling fat bloke taking the corner with a lean no more than 10 degrees off the vertical.

Busted.

Of course my footage only showed an empty road ahead and therefore flattered us slightly. Well it was only the first ride of the year. When the summer is in full swing we will have 4 (count them) mini camcorders out on our runs, bloody hell this could be an embarassing year.

Cheers Fruit 'n ' Barley. (tut)

Bungle

A reminder

2010-04-12T12:43:00.004+01:00

Cant remember if this was ever posted. If not here it is

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4KYprmNaU8

If you are interested, Mr Bungle is the guide, Zippy is the cameraman, KG and Grifter are the 2 lazy gits on the sofa and H-Boss is hiding in his bedroom..

Papa Phallus

If our bikes were super heroes...

2010-04-08T22:48:00.006+01:00

...this is definately how each of our bikes would be represented in the superhero world!

Dr Manhattan - VFR. An immortal idol. Nice shade of blue, very dull otherwise.

Barney the Dinosaur - CBR 1100XX . Big, purple and annoying.

Superman - CBR 600. Supersonic speed, x-ray vision, amazing powers, shame he's more Clarke Kent than Superman.

Bumblebee - CBR 600F. Quick, agile, sensitive, intelligent...then he runs out of fuel.

The Incredible Hulk - ZX6r. What a monster, unbelievable power, unbeatable grip has the ability to change colour BUT, loses control.

Move over Justice Leauge, the OMP guys are here to save the day...

Papa Phallus

Gang Update

2010-03-31T10:45:00.006+01:00

Those of you who have been keeping tabs on this blog for a while, will no doubt have noticed the lack of involvement, or even mention, of one or two of our regular ride-out group. So here is an update. In no particular order......

Mr Plough - Nobody has seen or heard from Mr. Plough and his trusty tractor for over a year now. So bugger knows where he is or what he is doing, although I have a theory or two....

Pathfinder - Still an active ride-out attendee, bless him. Knows all the best roads as well.

Grifter - Is a VFR rider, so is probably still on his way back from our Germany trip last summer, but will be back out with the guys this summer.

H-Boss - Poor old H-Boss, his business fell foul of the global downturn last year, again, but hey that's why we call him H-Boss. He sold his bike to re-start his business but has promised to be back soon.

K.G - Well, after K.G's well publicised problems in Germany (details in older posts) last year, he was advised by Doctors to take a year out from biking to let his injury heal completely, so he sold his bike and invested the dosh in a Grasstrack Mini (never one to sit still is our K.G). The lad has done well in his first season scoring a heat win and a third in an event final. But he wont be able to resist the lure of a blast across the moors to scoff a tray of crap chips in Scarborough for long, he will be back.......

Bungle

Oh Dear!!!

2010-03-25T13:40:00.010Z

The Honda Blackbird.

A legendary bike with legendary build quality.Super fast, super cool and meticulously looked after by mature owners who pour love and affection on their machines as any Honda should be.

So! What the bloody hell happened here then-->

Also, while surfing around I found a pic of

'another' purple Blackbird, not sure it works

so well this one though.

Mr Bungle

Testing times

2010-03-21T11:01:00.002Z

Well, the sun is shining (sort of), the roads are dry (hmmm), the biking season is officially here.

But first and foremost one or two minor obstacles need to be overcome.

The first of these is the annual MOT (or bi-annual in Papa Phallus' case).

Mine and PP's bikes were booked into the excellent Trackside Motorcycles in sunny Stockton to be prodded and poked and bounced and squeezed by the charismatic, sharp as a knife, MOT tester.

My Blackbird went first, to be honest I was a little nervous, not because the bike is a shed (shut it Zippy) but because I had put the noisy Micron race can back on the bike (after spending the latter half of last year with a standard set-up on the bike) so I was a little worried the tester would knock it back as being too loud. I need not have worried, the money spent on a re-pack kit for said can paid for itself with a thumbs up from Mr tester man. Positives for tyres, brakes and condition came next but he did pull me up on my slack chain and my wobbly luggage rack, but these were only advisories.

So far so good, until we came to lights, I had checked all the lights the weekend before and all were working fine so I was shocked when the brake light refused to light up on the front brake lever, bollocks. The tester apologised but he had to fail the bike.

A quick drop in to Tillston's in the town for a replacement micro switch yielded nothing, so it was just a matter of raping one off of Fruit'n'Barley's bike to get my XX through a re-test. And that is exactly what I did, and now my bike has a lovely shiny full ticket.

Papa Phallus' turn now. He rode 'Yellow Snow' into the testing station looking more nervous than I was, he had a right to though, he was worried about his front tyre which was showing signs of unequal wear but our friendly tester just issued an advisory for it.

The tester was tempted to fail PP's bike on the amount of chicken strips on his back tyre, but another mechanic in the garage pointed out it would be unfair to fail it as it was clear that PP could only ride a bike upright and in a straight line........Ha ha...hammered.

'Yellow Snow' passed with flying colours, so a good job all round, 2 bikes passed and ready for a cracking spring and summer.

Your turn now Zippy...........

Bungle

Scotland tour update

2010-03-10T12:56:00.002Z

Hey Guys,

I'm thinking of changing the "centre" for our Scotland trip. Instead of Inverness which is a 300 mile trip, I'm now thinking of Loch Lomond as a base. It's considerably nearer, at about 180 miles, therefore cheaper with more options for suitable accommodation.

Me and Zippy have checked out the roads in the area and, to be honest, they are nothing short of stunning. It's a very popular area for bikers but I didn't see a single speed camera in the area.

Let me know what you think, I have already been in touch with a hotel who can accommodate all of us and our bikes.

Happy Days

Bungle

Scotland Tour July '10

2010-03-01T10:50:00.002Z

This July the Ouch! My Piles crew will be off on a little tour of Scotland. Starting on Thursday 1st, we will travel up to Inverness to our Hotel (which we have provisionally booked for the 1st, 2nd and 3rd) and then spend the following 3 days exploring the fantastic roads of northern Scotland.

On the itinerary will be a run up to John O'Groats and some of the minor roads in that area, also a run down to Fort William and the Glencoe Pass is a must-do.

If anyone has any other ideas then please drop a line on here.

So far there are 7 of us confirmed on the trip, but anyone is welcome to come along or even to meet up with us on route, just drop a message on here and we will get it sorted.

Bungle

VFR 1200 Launch night

2010-02-24T18:03:00.006Z

After being spectacularly let down by RiDE magazine, who e-mailed me about a test ride on the new VFR then never followed it up, it was left to White Bros. Honda in Darlington to pick up the pieces and invite me and Zippy to the launch night of Honda's new VFR/Blackbird replacement.

Plenty of food and drink was laid on for the guests, which me and Zipster fairly laid into (the prawn thingy's were great) while we mooched around looking at the rest of the stock awaiting our turn to sit on the star attraction.

When we got our hands (or should that be arses) on the bike I have to admit to being quite impressed, it was very light or more likely very well balanced which made it feel light. The lines of the bike are very clean with no fairing fasteners on display and lovely deep paint.

This is where things started to take a turn for the worse. The salesman showing us around the bike asked if we wanted to hear it running, to which we said yes. Oh Dear! As nice and shiny as the bike is it sounds a bit cack, a bit limp wristed, a bit like a Citroen 2CV. In fact a lot like a 2CV. We wandered off at this point, looking up at the ceiling and whistling quietly in a "it wasn't me guv,

honest" kinda way. So, we found our way to the Cruiser section, Honda's new Fury chopper was launched on the same night, and very nice it was too, although I think I preferred the matt black bobber bike they had on display.

Zippy loved the Cruisers by the way, but more alarmingly, he couldn't take the grin off his face when he sat on the Pan European. If he gets one of those we will have to try and sneak out for a ride while he isn't looking, oh! the embarrassment.

Bungle

From Joy to Pain and Back Again! Part2

2010-02-16T11:08:00.004Z

Just as poor Fruit'n'Barley was starting to think his biking adventure was getting off to a dream start, it very soon turned into a nightmare.

A slow speed spill which occurred a few hundred yards from his house, which was caused by a momentary lapse in concentration, sent the bike into the kerb which then flipped the bike over before sliding across the road to slam into the other kerb. The damage from a slow speed crash like this was horrendous, the fairings were smashed, levers bent, but most upsetting was the engine. The alternator housing took the brunt of the kerb hit which in turn cracked the housing which in turn cracked the engine block.

There was nothing else for it, a new engine required plus replacement fairings but most importantly, rebuild F'n'B's shattered confidence, he was beside himself with rage and frustration but he would have to put this one down to experience.

Coming soon

Part 3, the rebuild starts.

Bungle

Genius!!!!

2010-02-11T11:05:00.000Z

Mr Cadbury met Ms Rowntree on a Double Decker, it was just After Eight.

They got off at Quality Street, infront of the Fishermans Friend pub.

He asked her name, "Polo, I'm the one with the hole" she said in a quiet
Wispa.

"I'm Marathon, the one with the nuts" he said!

Then he touched her Creme Eggs.

They checked into a hotel, he slipped his hand into her Snickers and felt
her Milky Way.

He fondled her Flap Jacks and she rubbed his Tic Tacs.

It was a fab moment as she let out a scream of sheer Turkish Delight!

Sadly 3 days later his Sherbert Fountain started to drip.

It turns out Ms Rowntree had been with Bertie Basset who had
Allsorts!

Poetry Corner!!!!

2010-02-11T11:00:00.000Z

A WOMAN'S POEM:

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,

One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long.

One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when I spend, won't be annoyed.

Pull out my chair and hold my hand.
Massage my feet and help me stand.

Oh send a king to make me queen.
A man who loves to cook and clean.

I pray this man will love no other..
And relish visits with my mother.

A MAN'S POEM:

I pray for a deaf-muted gymnast, nymphomaniac
with big tits who owns a bar on a golf course,

and loves to send me biking, fishing, and drinking. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

True Story!!!!!

2010-02-11T10:33:00.000Z

Two British traffic patrol officers from North Berwick were involved in an unusual incident while checking for speeding motorists on the A1 Great North Road.

One of the officers used a hand-held radar device to check the speed of a vehicle approaching over the crest of a hill, and was surprised when the speed was recorded at over 300 MPH! Their radar then suddenly stopped working and the officers were not able to reset it.

Just then, a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had, in fact, latched on to an RAF's 'Tornado' jet fighter, which was engaged in a low-flying exercise over the Border district, approaching from the North Sea.

Back at police headquarters the chief constable fired off a stiff complaint about the wrecked radar equipment to the "RAF Liaison" office.

Back came the reply in true laconic "RAF" style:

"Thank you for your message, which allows us to complete the file on this incident. You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Tornado detected the presence of, and subsequently locked onto, your radar equipment, and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it. Furthermore, an air-to-ground missile aboard the fully-armed aircraft also automatically locked onto your equipment. Fortunately the pilot flying the Tornado recognised the situation, and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched.

Have a good day."

Bungle

From Joy to Pain and Back Again! Part1

2010-02-09T15:02:00.008Z

Collection-

Early last summer we embarked on the 3 hour drive to DK Motorcycles to collect Fruit'n'Barley's nice new (well we say new) ZX6R. It stood resplendent in the sunshine in it's shiny yellow and dark purple/black paintwork and F'n'B was a happy boy. With papers signed and keys collected it was time to head the 160 miles back home. The journey home was a fun one with F'n'B continually blasting past us on the M62, I swear you could sense the big grin on his face behind his helmet.

Once at home it was time to do what all blokes with a new toy do, stand around staring at the thing for hours, poking and prodding and having all manner of people wanting to sit on the poor thing, the poor lad was itching to get out on a proper ride having been sat around for what seemed like months without a bike.

The first couple of rides were a bit of a trial, one or two moments which served to keep the concentration up were experienced, not that F'n'B was riding like a loon, but the last bike he rode was a Honda CB500 on his Direct Access test and the ZX6R is a totally different animal. They say that the first few years are a steep learning curve once you've passed your test, well, so is running out of petrol on your new bike on the way back from a run to Hartside cafe, lesson learned me thinks.

F'n'B's confidence was building nicely with each ride out and he was certainly handling the power of the bike with no real problems and it looked like we were in for a great summer. But alas, disaster was just around the corner, and it was a particularly expensive disaster for poor F'n'B.

Part 2 coming soon..................

Kinky wheels

2010-02-07T12:12:00.009Z

When I bought my Blackbird back in September '08 it had black wheels, and while I thought the bike looked great the combination of Purple/Silver paintwork and Yellow decals with Black wheels didn't really make sense but that's what it was.

It was when I was chatting to the original owner, the guy who had the bike painted, and he said to me "I see you have painted the wheels Black, they were Yellow when I had the paintwork done"

So, a plan was put into place, I didn't want to send them off to a powder coaters in case the colour was shite, so I decided to give it a go myself. There are plenty of "how to" guides on-line and I felt confident enough to give it a go. I bought the gear, and set to. With the front wheel sanded down and the primer applied I was starting to feel a little nervous, but when the 6 coats of MG Yellow were added I felt a little better. All that remained was to apply 4 coats of clear lacquer and the wheel was done, and I was really pleased with the results.

I popped the wheel on the bike, stood back to admire the results and set about attacking the rear wheel. With both done I must say I reckon the bike looks great and really brings out the Purple. I get one or two comments from the guys I ride with "Oh my god! It's a council gritter" yeah, thanks for that Zippy.

Please feel free to comment.

Bungle

Burping!!!!!!!!!

2009-11-16T16:26:00.002Z

A quick call out to any guys who have pics of Fruit'n'Barley's bike, both pre and post- op, I am gonna do a piece on the bike hopefully covering the full story from purchase to tragedy to oil filter burping? and back to glory again, yay......... So giz a shout if you possess any piccies

Bungle

New Bike for Zippy

2009-11-09T18:52:00.002Z

Winter is drawing in and poor Zippy does suffer from the cold, bless him. Well, he certainly likes a nice woolly jumper to keep him nice and snug, and he would love a retro naked bike, plus we all know what his preferred bike colour is, so, I have searched and searched for something to help the lad out and I think I have found the perfect machine.

Welcome to your perfect bike Zippy

Bungle

Brits in WSB 2010

2009-11-07T18:39:00.002Z

Admit it, next year is gonna be awesome, there where a good number of Brits competing in this years championship but next year we have the return of Mr. Toseland and the possibility of BSB champ Leon Camier riding for Aprilia. James Toseland's team mate for next year will be WSS champ Cal Crutchlow and with Haslam on a full factory Suzuki its gonna be a cracking year. Bring it on, Who's up for Donnington?

Bungle

VFR1200F

2009-11-06T08:14:00.008Z

The new Honda VFR1200F is released soon. When I first caught a little sneak preview I was intrigued but also worried, especially since this bike was pencilled in to become the new Blackbird and VFR800 replacement, the last thing Honda needed was to ruin the reputation of two fantastic bikes. Honda's early press releases stated that the bike was going to be a "Super Tourer", all well and good but thoughts of a big Deauville did creep into my mind, that, I'm afraid to say would have been a massive blunder on Honda's part.

When the concept pictures appeared in the press, everyone was taken aback the bike looked fantastic, although it was clear it was never going to stay that way come the final production model.

So, when the final production model appeared in the press, I have to say I was a little underwhelmed. But, after a reading a couple of test ride articles and staring at the piccies, I can now proudly say that the bike is Effing gorgeous, and I want one, now, or I will hold my breath for a really long time.................

Bungle

Whitby and Pickering

2009-10-25T18:43:00.002Z

A Sunday morning blast to Whitby was planned, and along for the trip were myself, Zippy, Papa Phallus, Fruit'n'Barley and Pathfinder. Fuelled up we set off toward Guisboro, just outside Marton we were at a set of lights waitng to move off when up in front there was a thick cloud of smoke coming from the front of the queue, we knew there were a few other bikers there and we thought one of them had done a burnout when pulling away from the lights, as we got closer we noticed a puddle of engine oil on the road, ouch, a huge Kawasaki cruiser thingy was pulling away from the lights when it's engine shat itself dumping oil over the hot exhaust (that explains the smoke then). Once through Guisboro we headed over the moors road to Whitby, this is a great road, not super technical but very busy and timing your overtakes keeps things fun and interesting without being dangerous, we all arrived at the Whistlestop cafe with big grins on our faces.

Checking out the other bikes at the cafe, we noticed a pair of SP2's, rare enough to see 1 never mind 2 together, oddly enough along for the ride with these two behemoths was an Aprilia RS125, oh well, must make for an interesting ride.

After a bit of a break we decided, advised by Pathfinder, to take the road to Pickering. Another cracking moors road, undulating and flowing with stunning views. While we were taking our time and picking our overtakes carefully I took a look in my mirror and noticed one of the SP2's coming up behind me, no careful overtakes for this guy, followed shortly after by the second one, they sounded fantastic i want one, another quick glance in the mirror and there was the RS125 right behind me, "no way" i said to myself, he overtook me and the other guys in our party. There was no way i was having that, so , I waited for a gap in the traffic pulled out and shot past the little Aprilia only to pull in again when traffic got heavy again, once again the little stinkwheel overtook us all, this was getting embarrassing.

Once more traffic cleared and we soon dispatched the RS and headed on back to Birk Brow via Hutton le Hole, where we stopped for an ice cream, the roads back to the A171 Whitby road were bumpy, almost empty (apart from sheep) but loads of fun and a little scary.

All in all it was a great run out with Pathfinder showing us a few cracking roads that were new to us and will be visited again in the near future.

Bungle

Euro Tour Part 6

2009-09-23T12:22:00.004+01:00

The following day (Saturday) was a little awkward, we were to travel back to Europoort in Rotterdam but without KG. When we met in the morning KG told us that his day was planned out, he was to spend the day with our hosts until his flight was sorted out, this took the pressure off the rest of us, it would have been bad to just pack up and go and leave KG to his own devices. With the bikes fully luggage up again we headed off into town for a bit of breakfast, there is a great little restaurant in Adenau which does a traditional German breakfast for a few Euros.
Suitably fuelled up we headed off through the fantastic Eifel Mountains to pick up the autobahn near Bonn. We settled into a steady rhythm and devoured the miles, before long it was time for a coffee and fuel in a service station near Munchengladbach. As we were relaxing a group of bikers riding enormous Boss Hoss choppers pulled in, these things are immense, V8 engines, twin fuel tanks, car rear tyres, twice the size of a normal chopper.
We set off again and this time managed to pick up the road we missed at the start of our adventure, this brought us to the old Germany/ Holland border which still had some of its old booths, a few pictures were taken and we headed off into Holland. A final lunch stop was made before we attacked the long stretch of motorway to the ferry terminal, this passed fairly uneventful and it wasn’t long before we were securing our bikes in the vehicle deck of the ferry, there were far more bikes on board this time with a few heading off to the Isle of Man TT.
A few pints made the return crossing a breeze, and a quick call to KG revealed that he had been to a footy game and was, that afternoon , going to be given a fast lap of the Nurburgring in our hosts Porsche race car. (lucky git).
The next morning we rode our bikes off the ferry and onto British roads once again, we split up (unintentionally) and headed off home.
All in all I’m sure all involved would agree that our first trip abroad was a fantastic success, the KG incident just went to prove that proper insurance is a must because you never can tell what is going to happen when abroad. Without the correct cover it would have cost a fortune to get KG and his bike home.
Thanks guys I really enjoyed myself, here’s to next years trip
Bungle

Euro Tour Part 5

2009-09-22T14:50:00.003+01:00

The day after our Nurburgring lap we made a decision to “pop” across to Luxembourg, just to put another country under our belts. But first we were determined to pick up some souvenirs of our ‘ring experience. We had noticed that there was a dedicated fan shop in the town of Adenau, the town where we had done all our eating and drinking, so we dropped in to have a peek. We all picked up souvenirs of various descriptions (polo shirts, key lanyards etc.) that is except for KG, he wasn’t too convinced they had what he wanted, so we agreed that on the way back from Luxembourg we would call in to the main shop at the Nordschlieffe entrance that we had visited the day before.
I had studied the map meticulously and was convinced I had the trip covered, nope, one little turn to bring us on to the “r257” proved elusive to us, a good 45 minutes was spent to-ing and fro-ing trying to find the little bastard. “Enough” said KG “ Sod it, we’ll hit the Autobahn and just do it in a oner”. The Autobahn was despatched with ease (our plan to hit a ton in each country was going well), we dropped of into a town called Kenn (appropriate?) and found a little bakery to have lunch (once again thanks to Grifter who used his linguistic skills to order our food, you old fox). Back on to the Autobahn and past Trier which is the last major town before the border, the scenery was already starting to change, not so much Gothic influence around here buildings had a definite French feel to them.
We finally crossed the border and pulled into a huge service station to fill up (Luxembourg had the cheapest fuel of the whole trip), after a bit of a break we decided that it was getting late and still had a date with the souvenir shop to fulfil, we agreed to turn around and head back on the back roads through Bitburg. The roads were much better, smooth fast and flowing, although H-Boss was getting pissed off at been left behind all the time, he said that we were riding too fast but we weren’t its just that we (me, KG and Zippy) were getting the breaks when it came to overtakes. As the roads got more rural we had less problems and things settled into a nice rhythm again, the rural roads were fantastic, best roads of the trip for me.
It was a lovely sunny day and this showed us just how fortunate we were the day before because when we arrived back at the ‘ring the place was absolutely jam packed, all the car parks and surrounding roads were full of cars and bikes, our lap would have been far more scary if we had chosen to do it on this day.
KG picked his souvenirs and walked back to his bike, it was a hot sweaty day and we had spent 3 and a half long days in the saddle, we were all a little achy, this goes someway to explaining what happened next. As KG threw his leg over his bike, there was a loud snap noise and a scream, KG and his bike toppled over onto the floor. KG felt his leg go as he stretched over the bike, and his now knackered leg could do nothing to stop his bike from hitting the deck with him on board. It looked bad, he couldn’t move his leg at all, luckily for us all an English guy in a Mini saw what went on and gave KG a lift back to the digs, Zippy got his bike back to the digs.
KG phoned the owner of our digs who kindly volunteered to take him to the local A+E. We all got ready and went into town for a meal where we agreed to meet KG later. We found a real nice Pizza restaurant in town called Pinocchio’s (really cheap and fantastic huge pizza’s) . KG turned up shortly after us, the docs told him that he had a 1 inch tear in the muscle at the back of his thigh, it was a bad one and he was told not to ride his bike for a couple of weeks at least (KG has since been told that more like a year would be required to fully recover). He had phoned the insurance company and they had agreed to fly him home and ship his bike back, it was a blow, none of us thought our trip would turn out like this but at least he was ok and well covered by insurance.
Bungle

Euro Tour Part 4

2009-09-22T11:11:00.003+01:00

After the mornings tomfoolery we realised it was still too early to head off to the Nurburgring, so we had ourselves a little blast around the local roads and passed through some lovely little villages in the mountains around Nurburg and Dumpelfeld, the tarmac surface varied from smooth and flowing to bumpy and rutted but none of this mattered because the scenery was just breath taking.
All roads lead to Rome as they say and it wasn’t long before we once again found road signs pointing to the Nurburgring, so we figured while we were already here and since there was no signs of any rain or drizzle in this part of the mountains, then we should head to the Nordschlieffe and prepare ourselves for our lap.
It was really our intention to buy tickets for the following day due to the unpredictability of that days weather, but when we arrived at the circuit it seemed that everyone else had the same idea, the place was not busy at all and the track was dry, so, bugger it, we thought, we will do it today.
Tickets purchased, we headed for the café (ahem..) to wait for the Porsche owners club to finish on the track. Talk was of how we were going to approach our lap, cautious and touristy or just go for it. The sensible approach was to take it easy as we didn’t want any daft accidents ruining what was so far a superb trip. Reputation is one of the big factors that makes the ‘ring what it is and consequently a few nerves were starting to show but excitement was felt in equal measure.
Finally our time had arrived, the Porsches buggered off and the track was cleared of debris (erk..) and a steady queue started to form around the entrance gate. We hung back for a few minutes to let the fast riders and drivers on first. As we started to gear up we noticed an old couple in the queue in a Smart car, “We’ve got to at least beat that” said KG.
With the queue now cleared we trundled up to the start gate, waited for the marshall to signal and set off up the coned acceleration lane. “Take it steady” I was saying to myself but red mist was already starting to creep in, I gunned the bike and shot off toward the first corner, “This is awesome” I was shouting in my helmet, I overtook a GSXR750 but that didn’t last long, he soon took me back, oh well. Car upon car I overtook, the track was just corner after corner and hill after hill, it was fantastic, I got into a bit of a race with a Citroen ZX race car, I was leaving him for dead on the straights but he was closing on the corners, on one corner a Porsche came flying past and I shit myself but there was no way I was going to try and keep up. Around the next bend I caught up with the Smart car tootling along. 17 miles didn’t take long and I rounded the last bend onto the main finish straight, I gunned the bike, looked down at my speedo, 145mph, but when I looked back up I saw the cones for the deceleration lane fast approaching, I pulled off the track and parked up, took off my helmet and took a deep breath, then I noticed Zippy pulling in, a huge grin on his face, we compared stories, he too had hit 145mph and passed the Smart car. KG now pulled into the car park and said he had passed the Smart car. We waited another few minutes and then we were shocked to see the Smart car pulling off track. “Bloody hell where are Grifter and H-Boss” I said, and at that they both pulled into the car park “behind” the Smart car (tut tut the shame of it).
The track is fantastic but I think it would be truly scary on a busy day. We got back to our digs, cleaned up, and headed into town for a well earned steak at the fantastic Blau Ecke (blue corner), we chatted with a few other Brit bikers and swapped ‘ring tales.
A great end to a superb day.
Sorry about the lack of piccies for this section but cameras and such are banned on the circuit

Bungle

Euro Tour Part 3

2009-09-21T18:25:00.004+01:00

The following morning brought an overcast outlook and an occasional spot of drizzle, we decided to pop along to the Nurburgring to check out availability of Nordschlieffe tickets, we had decided before we went that we would have a crack at doing a lap of the famous circuit. We followed signs for the circuit but these brought us to the GP part of the track, so we popped into the cafe (a bit of a theme that) and chatted to the waitress who directed us to the Nordschlieffe entrance, we called into the ticket office and they told us that tourist tickets were not available until after 5pm, so, what to do until then.

On our way to our digs the day before, we noticed a kids adventure park with restaurant, so we decided to give that a try, the food was spot on and while stuffing our faces we watched people coming and going to a kids tobbogan run, we popped across to have a look, it looked cool but was obviously for kids. "It would be cool" i said "if we went down that in our bike gear, helmets and all" everyone agreed.

So we paid our money, donned our gear and set off with warnings about it being really fast when wet still ringing in our ears. "It'll be right" said KG, and it was, it was a proper laugh out loud experience, and a few people gathered on one of the bridges to watch these daft Brits go down the run in bike gear. By time we got to run number 3, we were getting confident, i was in front and on one long 180 degree bend the little cart flipped from under me and i continued for a bit on my arse, "oh shit" KG was right behind me and just managed to come to a stop before crashing in to me, he realised Grifter was behind him and done a perfect SAS roll off his cart onto the grass bank (Klingon would be so proud) Grifter rounded the bend and slammed straight into me, it was carnage, until we realised that Zippy was next down, we couldn't warn him in time but we were all off track so he slammed into all our carts and went sliding down the track. The people watching loved it (sicko's).

Another 2 or 3 runs followed, this time with H-Boss joining in the fun, but alas we had to leave, we had an appointment with a certain race track

Bungle

sorry sorry sorry

2009-09-21T18:13:00.002+01:00

Really sorry guys,

due to computer access problems the poor blog has been left to rot,

but happy days, i have a new lappy so the blog will go turbo from now on.

Euro Tour Part 2

2009-07-04T18:05:00.005+01:00

arrival.......

There was a definate sense of excitement the following morning, none of us had rode abroad before (we had all driven overseas, but riding is a different animal). We rode off the ferry, down the port access roads and finally our Euro trip had started. The Dutch roads were nice and smooth, well marked and signed. Scenery was real nice at times and a little unspectacular at others, but still it was all new to us. The plan was to stop every hour for a break, especially since we could'nt check into our digs until the afternoon, so we had plenty of scope for stops. Our first stop was a coffee shop in some motorway services about 30k outside of Rotterdam

A nice relaxing place. In the pic above i think HBos is expecting a bloody good rogering (he was after all C4C)
We stopped a couple of times in various services and filling stations and took a wrong turn which added about 40 mile to the journey but we were still making good progress.
When we finally crossed the German border there was a definate change in scenery, it became very industrialised for the first 25 miles or so and then just bog standard motorways until our turn off (Ausfarht: not a town Zippy) it was then that the scenery and the roads became absolutely stunning.

Our digs, no that is too understated, our holiday home was fantastic and not what i was expecting at all, hats off to K.G for that one, the cottage was in beautiful surroundings, was clean and fantastically stocked with everythimg we could want or need.

We all thought that if this day was anything to go by, the next would be absolutely cracking,
bring it on..............

Euro Tour Part 1

2009-07-04T17:42:00.002+01:00

departure........

And so the day finally arrived, months of planning and saving had gone by and here we all were,
K.G, Grifter, HBos, Zippy and me sat in Squires for our pre trip dinner (it was shite, to be honest, but there you go). We scoffed up, done a last few checks and headed off down a very windy M62 toward our rendezvous with the ferry at Hull. We pulled up at the check-in hut and K.G's poor bike must have been a little tired because it took the opportunity to have a quick lay down while K.G was handing over the passports (this tired bike mullarky would turn out to be a bit of a theme for poor K.G). Onto the ship and our first taste of strapping down bikes, we seemed to wait ages while Grifter wrestled with the perfect combination to fasten his pride and joy down, (basically you couldn't see his bike for bloody rope by time he was satisfied) we got our room keys, had a quick change and a shower then it was down to the bar, we got the first drinks in, "I'm gonna go easy tonight lads" said I "I don't want to ride in a foreign country with a thick head tomorrow." Famous last words, after 5 rounds of pints of Grolsch i was a little bit worse for wear, oh well we were effectively on holiday.
K.G and HBos then decided to have a crack at the casino, well well i never knew K.G was the cosmopolitan type, he was completely at ease on the roulette and the pontoon tables and made sure HBos walked away with a few chips in his sky rocket.
Anyway, off to bed and the morning would bring HOLLAND Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bungle

Soooooooooooooo Excited

2009-05-17T14:44:00.002+01:00

Hey Jungs, Jus in der Woche zu gehen, bevor wir auf den Weg auf unsere epische Reise, um die geringe grundstucke, ich freue mich sehr auf unsere Nürburgring auf Hochtouren, nicht zu vergessen, letzte aus kauft die Biere. Also, wir sehen uns alle auf dem Boot.

Bungle

INTRODUCTIONS 10

2009-05-17T14:11:00.005+01:00

PATHFINDER

Bike - Honda VFR800 ('00)

Mods - Seat Cowl, SatNav embedded into brain.

Previous Bike - Honda Hornet

Age - 48

Years Riding - 4

Fascinating Facts - Yet another member of the knee down gang with an encyclopaedic knowledge of all the cool roads in our area, cool to ride with.

INTRODUCTIONS 9

2009-05-10T13:33:00.004+01:00

Fruit 'n' Barley

Bike - Kawasaki ZX6R

Mods - Double bubble, Undertray,Hugger, half a ton of tarmac and gravel.

Previous Bike - non

Age - 24

Years Riding - 1

Fascinating Facts - F'n'B is the first member of our group to get his knee down :)

2009-05-04T10:37:00.010+01:00

SuperSports - VS - SportsTourers

Since this was the first time the Kawasaki had joined us and i took a camera and got some lovely pics thought it would be the perfect time for my first post.

we set of to Hartside Cafe after fueling up. shortly before we reach Hartside Cafe we stopped roadside where i snapped these lovely photos.

We carried along until

we reached Hartside Cafe where we stopped for a quick brew and a cheese scone, compliments of T2000. We left to oogle some bikes only to find a group of middle aged snobs in flashy ferraris, porches and TVR's.

We left to follow the blissful roads to Olston and admired some lovely views then it was back on return leg of the journey...

...when disaster almost struck just outside of Darlo as my reserve gauge flicked on so I had to follow T2000 to the nearest petrol station, not realising that Zippy and (as yet un-nicknamed) Adam Kawasaki

were nowhere to be seen. Having refuelled and waited for what seemed like an hour we doubled back on ourselves for about a mile only to find them pushing the ninja along the roadside. Poor lamb had had an equally low fuel reserve but hadn't realised and had concked out. Ooops. Kawasaki Adam leaped onto the back of the VFR and "zoomed" or whatever it is the VFR does to get some petrol unluckily for him in a £6 jerry can tha

t cost more than the fuel! Not wanting to be left out of pocket due to the credit crunch we cunningly strapped the jerry can to the blackcurrant and I switched bikes with Bungle to bring the cargo home. That stroke of genius turned out not to be quite as genius as we'd hoped when the jerry can decided to make a bid for freedom along the a66 at oooh roughly 100mph and was witnessed later than day still causing mayhem on the road.

All in all a good ride out was had by us...but we still need a nickname for Kawasaki Adam.

GET WELL SOON

2009-04-13T17:29:00.002+01:00

A good friend to all on this blog, Steve J, was knocked off his bike this week.
Fortunately he is ok but did suffer a badly broken foot and a couple of cracked vertebrae.

We all wish you a full and speedy recovery.

bungle and k.g

Ouch my piles bike tests

2009-04-05T21:48:00.002+01:00

Long awaited VFR test 2

After being inspired by K.G's fair and honest review of the red VFR, i thought it was time to give the blue one a bit of a test ride, after all the VFR and the Blackcurrant share a garage so should be easy enough then.

I wheeled the bike out, prodded the starter, mmmmm sounds nice, snicked it into first and the bike fairly bloody flew, wow, into second and no let up, this is a very fast bike and no mistake a couple of B roads are despatched with ease so i stop in a layby to catch my breath, another biker is there, "hey nice Blackbird mate" Shit!!!! i'd jumped on the wrong bike, oh well try again.

This time i have the VFR in front me, i push it out of the garage, push it onto the road, push it a bit further, then a bit further. In case you are wondering what i'm doing, Zippy says the VFR likes to be pushed, he pushes his quite a lot. I start up the engine, mmmmm sounds like a washing machine on spin cycle. Jump on the bike and knock it into first, the bike moves off, into second then third, oh wait someone is flashing me and wants to overtake, tut those bloody disabled shopping carts are a nuisance. I get into a bit of a duel, this time with a road roller, its tight but the roller wins. all in all i've been out 25 mins and i've got to the bottom of Zippy's road, time to head back.

i enjoyed my ride on the VFR very relaxing, it felt like wating for a beard to grow or a custodial sentence. I hope to repeat the experience some time in the future, if i can get a week off work.

bungle

Ouch My Piles Bike Tests

2009-03-27T12:39:00.002Z

The Long Awaited VFR Test Ride

After 12 months badgering i was persuaded to swop bikes with "The Grifter" and yes you have guessed it i had to ride a VFR. Nervously i put the old Bandit on the side stand and walked

over to the VFR. I looked around to make sure that there was nobody about who would recognise me and quickly jumped on the VFR and covered my face with my dark visor.

I had only just set off when i found myself making a pit stop in a lay by to make some hasty modifications. So out came the WD-40 ( Standard part of the VFRs tool kit along with gaffer tape and super glue) to lubricate the VFRs rev limiter switch which was stuck on 4000 revs and looked as if it had never been used for at least 11 months. Also checked the temperature gauge reading and re calibrated it to read 10 degrees higher in a bid to get "The Grifter" out a bit more.

Before i set off again i had a quick look around the bike to make sure there was no chewing gum or gaffer tape that had worked its way loose and then off i went again. To be fair the colour of the bike is quite nice but enough of the positives and on with the fair and unbiased rode test. The road to Scarborough was quite busy and would you believe it I got stuck behind a couple of scooters unsure whether i had enough power to pass them i moved in for the kill as i saw a straight with no traffic. As the VFRs V-Tech kicked in i slowly passed the scooters who were slowing down for petrol. A bend approached quit slowly and it felt a bit funny leaning around corners as the bike jumped off the flat spot on the tyre and used grip that had never been used before. At last the road test was over and as i pulled over in a lay by i was glad i had been out on the Bandit previously to get the flies on the helmet so i didn't look a twat when i pulled in the lay by with other bikers.

I jumped off the VFR in the lay by and was very quick to point of to a fellow biker(ZZR) that me and The Grifter had swapped bikes. After 10 mins of taking the piss out of theVFR the guy on the ZZR showed us a little Michelin man on the far extreme of the tyre and was proud of the fact that he had worn the top of his head off. We all walked over to the VFR looking for a Michelin man but he tyre was a different make but we did see a giraffe in tact with a top hat on.

All in all we had a good day out and it improved when i got back on the Bandit. So i thought i would compile a list of the VFRs good points.

Introductions 8

2009-03-22T16:47:00.006Z

Papa Phalus

----------

Bike - Honda CBR 600F

Mods - Hugger, Yellow Bow and ribbons, Heated grips, Hair Straighteners

Previous Bike - Non

Age - 23

Years Riding - 1

Fascinating Facts - Papa Phalus has a specially designed helmet to prevent helmet hair, after all you
can't spend 2 hours getting your hair just so only for a bloody helmet go and ruin it, tut tut.

bungle

Touring

2009-03-09T09:10:00.001Z

Hey guys.

As promised, a link to a website giving advice on what to carry when touring abroad,
lots of stuff on there but worth a look

http://ixxra.co.uk/v-web/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=3348&st=0&sk=t&sd=a

Bungle

Introduction 7

2009-03-02T14:34:00.011Z

Captain Klingon

Bike--Yamaha XJ600 This is the one that bungle got fed up with in his the garage so he sold it to his Pikey mates and told Klingon it had been stolen.

Previous Bike-- BMX Turbo

Age-- Nearly as old as Zippy

Years of riding-- 1 year

Weight-- Captain Klingon has informed us that he has lost 3 stone so must be about 25 stone

You make up your own mind

Before After

Looks the same to me

Fascinating Facts--Captain Klingon was a sniper in the SAS (True) He had to retire because it kept interfering with his army waiters job.As you can see from the pictures he likes scooters but he thinks there a bit slow. Goes out on the Blackcurrant with Bungle and puts his arms around him like a girl. Bungle says he is glad of Klingons fat belly or he would be poking him from behind.(man love)

Only kidding

Good luck with the testssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Hboss said if you want a new bike he can finance it with some incredible mates rates or bungle could sell you a XJ600 bit by bit.Remember the Blackbirds in your garage now so you could sneak it out and Bungle would never know.

Oh nearly forgot bungle said him and zippy will take it in turns to take you on the back of there bikes through the summer.

Zippy's 25th bash

2009-03-01T10:06:00.007Z

A big 'ouch! my piles' shake of the hand this goes to Zipster and Mrs. Zipster.
It was 25 years ago this week that they tied the proverbial, so we organised a little bash.

and the poor lad got a teeny bit drunk

Loadsa respect for that dude

Congratulations Zippy

Keep banging that rivet

Bungle

First Ride of 2009

2009-02-26T22:28:00.003Z

Some fairly mild days of late, so a decision was bravely reached to have a sunday run out.
The usual 5 reprobates were in attendance, myself, Zippy, K.G, Grifter and H-Boss.
A meeting at Squires was the order of the day, followed by a really enjoyable blast up to Helmsley, once there a cafe was raided and we all enjoyed a coffee and a nibble while we discussed our impending trip to Germany in may.
Next it was on to Thirsk, before splitting up and buggering off home (me and Zipster swapped bikes for the run home, as you do)
All in all a cracking start to the year, a nice steady 180 miles (an hour) to blow the cobwebs out, although i'm not sure how many miles K.G clocked up, he lives in far off foreign lands you see, well, Sheffield.

Bungle

Bikes And Birds

2009-02-15T21:36:00.005Z

Hey Guys,

Been doing some research lately, it would seem that bikes attract birds, and i don't mean the feathered type.

So, i got to thinking i wonder what girls would be attracted to OUR bikes.

Here are the results of my findings

Honda blackbird

Suzuki Bandit

Honda VFR 800

So, there we go, happy days.

Bikes do attract birds.

Time to get out there and start pulling, or in the case of Zippy, pushing

bungle

Dr. Sloth's VFR Accessories

2008-12-13T05:48:00.008Z

Dr. Sloth's

VFR Shop

Hi and welcome to my shop,
here you'll find loads of goodies to throw at your VFR, everything from must haves to bling parts delivered straight to your door.

Here are a few of our bestsellers

1. Super Fly Spray.

fool your buddies with this tin of fly spray. It's a tin of dried flies, just spray onto your fairing and helmet and, hey presto, covered in flies. It makes all the guys at the bike meet think you've been going fast, that'll shock 'em. £4.99

2. Digital Thermometer.

cool bit of kit this, reads only in centigrade, connects directly to your wiring loom, and this is the best bit, if the temperature reads lower than 40 degrees centigrade the bike won't start, brilliant, no more moderately warm slightly cloudy days to ruin your fun. £24.99

3. Magnetic Pension Book Holder

simple, just pop this on your tank and off you go to the post office on a tuesday. £7.99

4. Extra Large Right Mirror

3 times bigger than a standard VFR mirror, lets you know whats overtaking
you. £15.99

First class delivery is guaranteed next day.
second class takes 2-3 days
or i can deliver on my VFR and it'll get there whenever.

Zippy relaxing with friends

2008-11-27T11:10:00.005Z

Even after a hard day on the bike Zippy is still dreaming about "riding" and the BANDIT that got away a long way away

Wifes introduction

2008-11-25T15:53:00.002Z

Just thought i would introduce the wifes and girlfriends who we hope will join us for a wheelie or two

" Beating The Bandit "

2008-11-24T15:55:00.007Z

Just thought of a way of beating the Bandit

Its simple just add tow rope

Sunday Pootle

2008-11-16T23:27:00.002Z

Went for a little blast out today,

just the 4 of us, me, Viper, K. G, and Mr. Plough.

Mr. Plough was out on his nice new tractor......erm i mean Beemer, it is in the process of being run in so he advised us to take it steady as he couldn't rev it beyond 4000 rpm, bloody hell have you tried keeping a Blackcurrant below 4000 rpm, anywho, me and K. G managed to go steady at least once when approaching a line of traffic, oh well!

We met at Squirrels, had a brief coffee and shot off (i mean took it steady) down the A19 to thirsk, had another coffee, as you do, put the world to rights then we headed off home (steadily) to catch the Boro v Everton match (1-1 ).

Not a bad little blast, I still find this bloody Blackcurrant is an awesomely powerful sometimes downright scary beast to ride, love it to bits tho'.

bungle

Introductions 6

2008-11-16T23:12:00.006Z

Grifter

---------

Bike - Honda VFR800 V-TEC '04

Mods - Bar raisers

Previous Bike - Suzuki Bandit 600s '04

Age - 42

Years Riding - 4

Fascinating Facts - "No way is the Bandit faster than the VFR"(see poll results for details) Wont go for a ride unless its 100 degrees

Introductions 5

2008-11-16T22:50:00.005Z

Mr. Plough

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Bike - BMW 1200GS '08

Mods - Hay Bailer, Muck Spreader

Previous Bike - Honda XL1000 Varadero

Age - 32 And counting

Years Riding - 70 ish

Fascinating Fact - Ooh Aaargh, Get Orf Moy Laaaand

Introductions 4

2008-11-16T22:28:00.008Z

H-Boss

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Bike - Suzuki Bandit 600s '04

Mods - Non

Previous Bike - none

Age - 42

Years riding - 1

Fascinating Facts - It's easier to photograph a shooting star than it is to photo H-Boss and he just discovered his bike is not limited to 56mph

Introductions 3

2008-11-14T14:21:00.007Z

K G

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Bike - Suzuki Bandit 1200s '06

Mods - Stainless End Can, Hugger, Belly Pan, Heated Grips, Double Bubble, Kappa Luggage

Previous bike - Kawasaki ZR7s '02

Age - 43

Years riding - 8

Fascinating facts - K g' s bike is faster than the VFR's, you ask him.He has also fitted a scot oiler but has filled it with paint and pointed it on the road so the VFR lads(girls) dont get lost

Introductions 2

2008-11-14T14:06:00.005Z

Zippy

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Bike - Honda VFR800 '00

Mods - Fuel end can

Previous bike - Yamaha XJ600s Diversion (the pink one)

Age - Phew bloody hell, we're talking roman numerals here

Years riding - 1

Fascinating facts - Zippy frequently has a blonde bird as pillion and uses adative K in his fuel but still cant catch Bandits

Introductions

2008-11-14T13:53:00.008Z

Mr. Bungle

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Bike - Honda CBRXX Super Blackbird '98

Mods - 4-1 Micron, Scottoiler, Heated Grips, Carbon Hugger, Double Bubble, Nonfango luggage

Previous bike - Yamaha XJ600s Diversion '95

Age - 42

Years riding - 1

Fascinating fact - Owns the fastest bike in the group (Ha) Often seen in a farmers fields on tic over scaring the birds

2008-11-14T13:39:00.003Z

Hello Fellas

thought you might find this interesting -

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=2LR2rEOAiiw

also try - http://www.nurburgring.org.uk/

some interesting reading on there, but don't forget, last one off the ring buys the beers

bungle

2008-11-13T23:33:00.002Z

Hey Guys!

just a quick update, our blog has been added to a cool bike specific website,

check it out at - www.rigsville.org

there are plenty of other blogs and stuff on there,

well worth a look

bungle

Ouch! my Ring.

2008-10-16T12:50:00.002+01:00

Well guys, that's it we're on our way.

Grifter has booked the Ferry,

I,m already excited,

That just leaves the Hotel to book, K.G is on that one,

And then Ambulances and recovery/ scrap wagons to organise for "The Ring"

"here we go, here we go, here we go"

bungle

Sprogs on the back

2008-10-12T14:36:00.003+01:00

Winter is drawing in, so took the oppurtunity to have a quick blast around norf yorkshire

Zippy's sprogs are taking their direct access soon so we invited them out as pillions to get a

taste of Squires and powerful motorsickles.

So everyone say hello to Delve 1 and Delve 2.

here are some piccies from our fun little blast, and please, no one mention the little incident on

the A19 near York, oops

K.G and Delve 2
ZippyDelve 1

2008-10-11T10:28:00.001+01:00

WOW!!!!!

Checked out the blog site today,
totally overwhelmed with comments and posts. NOT!!!!!

C'mon you lazy bastards, what does it take eh!

Jeez what a bloody bunch.

On another note, see y'all tomorrow at Squirrels.

Shiny new bikes

2008-10-05T23:05:00.005+01:00

Here is some piccies of mine and Zippy's new bicycles

enjoy

OOOOH!! Shiny

Looking good Zipster

There's lovely

She's ready to tour

I'm sure you'll all agree that a few hours spent with auto glym pays off big style

just don't show these piccies to my car

bungle

My Poor Bloody Car

2008-10-05T08:47:00.002+01:00

Ooh I feel right guilty now.

Coming out of Halfords yesterday with an arm full of Auto Glym's finest polishes and resins and metal treatments and whatnot, my car saw me approaching, i swear it had little smile on it's face and a little tear running down the headlight, it thought "yes, at last i'm gonna get valeted".
The poor thing is in desparate need of some tlc, but no, it was for the Blackcurrant, yeah so go screw yourself you french piece of shit, that's what you get for setting alight on me Claude.

Does anyone else neglect their car but pour love all over their bike?

Oh wait! am i really having this conversation with my car?

Yep, that's it i'm losing it, Purple bike, Spontaneously combusting car, what next, spend my life in a box in a field in the middle of nowhere, Ha as if.

Oh!!!!!!!!!!

Honda CBR 1100XX Super Blackcurrant

2008-09-28T21:07:00.003+01:00

Well I've only gone and bloody done it

In response to every bugger buying bigger and better bikes, i felt a bit left out, so, i popped down to DK in stoke
and got meself a nice Blackbird, in purple, it's not as bad as it sounds, no honest, it's a nice colour, Dream Machine paint work as well, piccies to follow soon

Super Bungle

PINK FOR SALE

2008-09-16T22:32:00.001+01:00

By the way if anyone would like to buy the famous "Pink" Divvy

please check out the website of DK Motorcycles where it will be up for grabs shortly

Bungle

EURO INVASION 2009

2008-09-16T22:21:00.003+01:00

TRIP TO NURBURGRING

So, who fancies it then?

We are planning a road trip to Europe next early summer (exact dates to follow) culminating in a blast around the famous Nurburgring.

Sailing via Hull (a lot cheaper than you think) and then on through Belgium and Germany before taking the scenic route back through Luxemburg, Belgium and Holland.

Sound cool?

We will be taking deposits in october so if you want to go then please leave a quick message in the comment box which you can find located at the bottom of this blog.

Bungle.

WHERE'S PINK

2008-09-15T23:23:00.007+01:00

OH!

MY!

GOD!

I go away on my holidays for 2 bloody weeks and look what happens.

It's gone

It's bloody gone

The pink bike has left the building

I can't leave you lot alone for a bloody minute can I

And what's worse than that is I am now the owner of the slowest bike in the gang

That's gonna have to change, and soon, Hayabusa anyone?

Anyway, congrats to Zippy and his lovely new VFR.

I've had a go and its a cracking bike.

It's in a lovely blue colour, Oh wait, Is it Baby blue, Or Powder Puff blue

MWAAAAHAAHAAHAAA

Mr. Bungle